k Page 3937 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Howling Wolves And Scary Wizards Aren't Good Enough For Red Sox Nation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Vicente Padilla Is Good At Making People, Androids Angry
Mark Teixeira after his double-plunk from Padilla: "Unfortunately, that guy has been doing it his whole career. Every time I've faced him since there seems to be balls near my head, near my body, and today I got hit twice. There's really no reason for it." [DMN]...

Joyless Mike Breen Threatens To Make Boring Finals Even More Unbearable
Of the many reasons to feel generally blah about the upcoming Magic-Lakers series, there is, above all, this sad fact: Mike Breen, the only man who watches basketball and cheers for the refs, is still the voice of the NBA finals....

The New York Times Somehow Finds A Silly Reason To Loathe Yankee Stadium
Leave it to the Times — the publisher's kid, no less — to come up with one of the dumber reasons to hate the infinitely hateable Yankee Stadium: The kiddies can't get autographs anymore!...

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

Twitter Posts Aren't Real Journalism, Silly!
Like many newspaper reporters, Tampa Bay beat writer Rick Stroud uses Twitter to connect with his readers and talk about whatever happens to be on his mind—but if you're stupid enough to take his Twits at face value then that's your own stupid fault....

Not Even Tasers Can Stop The Gators
Florida's starting cornerback Janoris Jenkins had a brainstorm this weekend, powered by a few thousand watts of taser juice courtesy of the local police. As if that could ever slow down a Gator superstar....

Barry Bonds Was Doing This For The Kids
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Add Trannies To The List Of People Faintly Annoyed By Danica Patrick
The new Danica Patrick commercial: clever deconstruction of gender identity or grievous insult to the transgender community? Discuss. [Trans Universe, via All Left Turns]...

FIGJAM Returns, Some People Depart
This is actually good news for those who like golf and story lines ready-made for sports columnists aching to showcase their Nicholas Sparks technique: Phil Mickelson will return to the PGA Tour, including the U.S. Open....

How LeBron Could Have Avoided Handshakegate Without Shaking Hands
Sports columnists must love LeBron James. Not only does he provide fanciful fodder during the regular season and permit them to wax rhapsodic as witnesses during the playoffs, but even when his season is done, he gives them the material they need for their next-day opinions....

Sir Charles Continues To Be The Most Bulletproof Person In Media
After his audible "pussy" blurt during Saturday night's Inside The NBA broadcast , Charles Barkley was reportedly given a stern talking-to by the suits at the TNT. Of course, that's all he received....

Another Prerequisite For Referees: Superhuman Vision
The NCAA is expected to enact a policy Wednesday to cut down on flopping by help-side defenders sliding under the basket. Here's the catch: The semi-circle to enforce the rule won't actually be painted, only imaginary, like the chances of this new rule ever working....

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Khalil Greene has been placed on the disabled list with an unspecified "social anxiety disorder" making him at least the third major leaguer to miss significant time with a similar complaint. That, my friends, is a TREND ALERT! So what the heck is going on here?...

Redick And Morrison, Reunited And It Feels So Good
"Remember when they cried in college? Remember when they played Halo against each other? They were like Magic and Bird in college, except that they weren't in any way." Redick scored seven points in the conference finals. Morrison hasn't played since April 14. Guess that settles SI's cover question!...

ESPN Engages In A Bit Of Time Travel
A tipster sent us this shot of the Chicago skyline from last night's Dodgers-Cubs broadcast on ESPN. Pretty, isn't it? Pretty much a lie, that is. The city hasn't looked like this since 2004, when the Sun-Times building you see at left gave way to Trump's unsightly monument to himself....

Your Profanity-Laced Tirades Will Now Be Taken Under Advisement
So: For those of you concerned, upset, distraught, FURIOUS, over the new commenting policy there's an email box for you to send those fiery missives:[email protected]...

Joe Buck Is The King Of Comedy
It seems that the network fancies their new host as a bit of court jester and now that he's finally made it to pay cable, Joe "Dice" Buck is ready to bust loose. The network has hired Peter Mehlman (former executive producer for Seinfeld) and Jon Glaser (former writer for Conan O'Brien) to write and...

One Theory About Lamar Odom's Consistency Problem
His fondness for candy. Yes. A Dr. Daniel Amen writes in a long essay: "I've been telling my patients for years that sugar acts like a drug in the brain. It causes blood sugar levels to spike and then crash, leaving you feeling tired, irritable, foggy and stupid. [LAT]...