k Page 3957 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....

Alexander Ovechkin Can't Drive 55
Rachel Nichols had a nice "so now you know" profile about the NHL's goofy MVP on E:60 last night. What do you think happens when a toothless, 23-year-old adrenaline junkie gets handed $100 million?...

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

But Who Could Possibly Sex Mutombo With A Bad Knee?
After last night's knee injury, Dikembe Mutombo says his career of shot-blocking and finger-wagging has come to a close:" For me, basketball is over," he said. One of the NBA's nicest guys. [SI]...

I Guess This Is What You Live For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

How Clemens' Retirement May Have Single-Handedly Sunk The Housing Market
At this rate there are going to be more books on Roger Clemens than on Abraham Lincoln ... and why not? Lincoln never kept apartments in 12 different cities for all of his women....

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

Karen Sypher Speaks (Sort Of)
Karen Sypher, the woman at the center of the bizarre Rick Pitino extortion thingy wants to give her side of the story. Her vague, paranoid, possibly disturbed side of the story....

Private Parts: John Daly Questions Rick Reilly's Ethics
Full disclosure: I have not read Rick Reilly's book, Who's Your Caddy? John Daly has, however, and would like to know just what it is about "off the record" that Reilly doesn't understand....

You're Just Making Carlie Christine More Famous
The Sacramento area cheerleading coach who was ratted out by members of her squad and fired for posing nude in Playboy has been named that magazine's Cyber Girl of the Month. Vindication!...

Erick Dampier Should Not Think Out Loud
"Every time [Tony Parker] drives the lane, we have to put him on his back....My first foul Thursday night is going to put him on his back. I guarantee it." [Dallas Morning News]...

Mets Fans Give Thanks For One More Thing To Complain About
The Great Doc Gooden Autograph Controversy is mercifully at an end, the Mets having reversed field on the issue after getting an earful in a glorious media/fan backlash....

"Moneyball" Casting Department Seeking Undervalued Actors
The cast of Steven Soderbergh's ridiculous Moneyball adaptation is starting to come together and it looks to be about as awesome as a dramatic feature about sabermetrics could possibly be....

You Not Dead, Dawg
The Great Falls Little League has stepped up and will pay Elijah Dukes' tardiness fine. It's $500. That means they will have to sell at least 400 Suicide Sodas at their next home game. [WaPo]...

Four No-Hitters In A Row? OK, That's Impressive
When I heard a high school baseball pitcher threw three consecutive no-hitters, it was like "Whatever." But when the same kid does it four times in a row ... now you've got my attention....

Andy Kennedy Avoids Another International Incident
Mississippi's fun-loving, cabbie-punching basketball coach pleads guilty to disorderly conduct for his drunken police adventure and will not serve jail time. Hopefully, that means Mrs. Kennedy will finally get some release. [ESPN]...

University of Miami Students Bristle Over No. 1 Party School Ranking
''I've been to the University of Michigan and that UM is crazy...[W]e rarely have parties on campus. We just go to ones that are more exclusive.'' [Miami Herald]...

Kenny Powers Part III
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

"Moneyball" Author Has A Small Penis, Cruel Family
"Daddy has a small penis!" That's according to his toddler daughter, who likes to let everyone at her day care center know that fact about her father. [NYP]...

Doc Gooden: Wanton CitiField Graffiti Outlaw
Apparently Felix Unger is now in charge of stadium operations at CitiField. Hey, it's a brand new stadium! Don't write on the walls! Even if you've won a Cy Young Award and your name is Doc Gooden....