k Page 4000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kris Letang Beats Off Two Guys, Interviewer Takes Notice
Fox Sports' Dan Potash asks an unfortunate question of Pittsburgh Penguin Kris Letang. It's funny because your mind is in the gutter. [YouTube, via The PensBlog]...

Larry Fitzgerald Sr. And Rick Reilly Both Thank Slate Writer For Punchbowl Turd
Fitzgerald Sr.: "Negatives come from haters. They can believe in whatever they want to believe in." Reilly: "Looks like someone just got a new search button and decided to use it." [CNBC]...

Roger Clemens Will Be Ready To Pitch...Right After His Sadomasochistic Rubdown
New excerpts from Torre's "The Yankee Years" (insert Tom Verducci yelling "It's not a memoir!" right here) have surfaced. One anecdote tells us how Roger Clemens achieved that anguished look on his face while he pitched....

Andy Roddick Fails To Solve The Puzzle That Is Roger Federer
Andy Roddick adopted a strict new workout regimen, shedding 15 pounds so he could move quicker and last longer in the blistering Australian heat. It worked—but it still wasn't enough....

SWF Seeks Any Man Who's Breathing For Matrimony, Possible Attention Whoring
With three days to go, Amy Borkowski is only a few dollars short of her goal to raise $3 million to buy a 30-second Super Bowl ad. Exactly how short? $2,993,795....

The Cable Guy Finally Shows Up
Sources have told the San Francisco Chronicle and NFL Network that the Raiders have settled on Tom Cable as head coach. Press conference possibly today. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On Football
A couple days ago, more definitive evidence that the professional helmet-smashing lifespan of an NFL player has detrimental effects on the human brain. It still probably won't change the way the game is played....

Georgia Fires Dennis Felton
The Bulldogs have lost seven in a row and are 0-5 in the SEC, so head coach Dennis Felton is being shown the door. He might need help walking through it, though. [WSBTV]...

Duke Snaps Under The Pressure Of Being Top Dog
For the third week in a row, the No. 1 team in the country loses, but at least this time they lost to the previous No. 1. So I guess we'll never settle this thing....

Meanwhile, At Busch Stadium ...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Rise And Fall Of A South Florida Basketball Legend
Edwin Rios, once considered a "can't miss" prospect for the University of Miami, arrested Wednesday on burglary charges. [Fourth And Fail]...

Eh, Screw It: Jason Whitlock Is The Friendly, Outgoing Sort
Everyone's favorite columnist is just chilling as usual. This time he took some time out of his busy schedule to snap a photo with two women doing missionary work in Vegas this past summer....

Former Iowa Hawkeye Broadcaster, Kansas City Chief Ed Podolak Can See Clearly Now
"After considerable deliberation with my family and close friends, I've decided to seek professional treatment. [T]he people closest to me in life have convinced me that treatment is in my best interest." [The Pitch]...

Tom Penders Accuses ESPN Of Video Witchcraft, Not Returning Calls
OK, you recall how Houston's Aubrey Coleman used Chase Budinger's face as a doormat on Sunday. Coleman was ejected and then suspended, but that's not the end of our story....

Very Naughty Jonesboro High Dance Team Banned Until Further Notice
After their YouTube video, entitled "The Sluts Of Jonesboro," went viral, the Jonesboro High dance team has been disbanded by the school district. Here's what all the hullaballoo is about....

Billy Gillispie Only Likes Good Questions
We missed this halftime interview between Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie and ESPN's Jeannine Edwards last night, but the message is still clear—if you're going to talk to Billy Gillispie, you better do your homework....

Spartan Hockey Players Will Only Be Slashing Tires From Now On
If you were wondering whether Michigan State coach Rick Comley would actually punish his two players who went berserk on Michigan's Steve Kampfer—both have been kicked off the team and one has already left school....

The Super Bowl Does Not Want Your Erotic Fruits And Veggies
Our story so far: PETA produced a Super Bowl ad that featured scantily-clad women doing naughty things with vegetables. Somehow, Sean Salisbury and Whoopi Goldberg got involved. Then things got weird ......

The Ballad Of Brenda And Kurtis The Stock Boy
Sports is a cold and cynical world, but its nice to know that uplifting tales of goodness can be found in the abyss. Oh, look... your mom just forwarded you an email from 1999!...