k Page 4017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Former 'Boys Great; Today's Team, Not So Much
Don't let the happy look on the faces of former Cowboys Michael Irvin and Emmitt Smith fool you, last night in Dallas felt more like a funeral than a celebration....

Why Yes, That Is Thad Matta and a Storm Trooper
You might be asking yourself why there is a storm trooper guarding over Thad Matta's sparsely attended press conference. What you don't know is that Darth Vader is lurking ominously in the opposite corner....

This Is Not Going to End Well
Tonight Evander Holyfield steps back in the ring. The 46 year-old claims to fight on because it is the will of God, but everyone paying attention knows that it's primarily the will of his creditors....

Sidney Crosby Will Sucker-Punch Your Head and Genitals
Here's video evidence of Sid Vicious - also known as Sidney Crosby - landing a few blows to the back of the head of Boris Valabik....

R.I.P., Dock Ellis
The man who famously threw a no-hitter while high on LSD passed away, at the age of 63: "It's a tremendous loss to the family," [wife Hjordis] said. "He's been struggling for about a year with the end stages of liver disease." [ESPN]...

It's Never Too Early For Bowling
Holy crap, the bowl games are starting already. In fact Wake Forest and Navy are underway at RFK Stadium in the famed EagleBank Bowl. This soon-to-be classic will be followed up by another three epic showdowns as the day goes on....

Warren Sapp's Birthday: Cake and Cheerleaders
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

For Skip Bayless, It's Come To This
No, this is not some wacky photoshopped shot designed to question the sexuality of ESPN's Skip Bayless....

Red Sox Can Kiss Tex Goodbye
Boston out of the Mark Teixeira market after he calls its $180 million, eight-year offer chicken feed. [Boston Herald]...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scours its message boards regularly to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comments, and presents them on their front page. Here is one of those comments ......

The One Where Gene Chizik Gets Snow-Jobbed
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Patrick Willis Lives In A Land Of Confusion
I'd like to say that 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis is the most underrated defensive player in the NFL, but the guy has been to two straight Pro Bowls, so someone's noticing....

Michael Jordan On Verge Of Getting Married Again?
So says the remarkably unreliable gossip hounds at Media Takeout who've "caught wind" that "word on the street" is MJ and girlfriend Yvette Prieto are about to get hitched....

SHOTY Elite Eight: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mark Cuban
It's the battle of people who have yelled at me in public. Woo-hoo! It's just like hanging out with my dad when I was a teenager. Why wasn't my dad nominated?...

Mel Kiper Jr. Gets Tebowed
Tim Tebow puts Mel Kiper Jr. on the spot: "“What do you think I need to do to be an NFL quarterback?" Kiper fumbles response. [College Football Talk]...

C.C. Sabathia Already Managing Expectations
C.C. Sabathia was introduced to the New York media yesterday, which is generally not an interesting moment in a player's career, but there was one little nugget of information that may hint at trouble....

The Pigeon Had It Coming
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

So Much For The Unstoppable Sharks Juggernaut
The bandwagon must have had trouble supporting all that weight, because the wheels certainly came off last night for San Jose....

Manning Heroically Leads Colts Over Sucky Team, Into Playoffs
With their big 31-24 victory over the Jaguars last night, the Colts are back in the playoffs with their sixth consecutive 11-win season, meaning that this kid can invite friends into his room again....

Of What Movie Will Hannah Storm's Next SportsCenter Outfit Remind Us?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....