k Page 4085 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kansas City Gripped By Quincy Carter Fever
He's not exactly back in the NFL, but the Kansas City Brigade of the Arena Football League is a start. And believe it or not, that's a step up for the former Dallas Cowboys quartertback Quincy Carter, who was last seen playing for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings of the af2. After joining the Brig...

Ron Zook Is Spreading Democracy
You've seen him served as tea for kings, flashing the weirdest gang signs and, of course, water skiing like a madman. But now, we know once and for all that Ron Zook is keeping the world safe for democracy....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

So, Which 2000 Laker Needs Some Cash?
The Los Angeles Lakers will tip off Thursday to try to win their 10th NBA championship, their fourth this decade. The first championship, in 2000, might have been the most exciting one, as Shaq finally got his first ring with Kobe finally breaking through as a winner. Heck, that ring must be awfully...

Chase Utley Is The Most Interesting Man In The World
Chase Utley is lighter than air, can charm the birds out of the trees and never forgets your birthday. His blood smells like cologne. He also makes diving, backhanded catches, has hit 21 home runs, will run into the catcher full tilt and is not opposed to bunting his way on base. On Monday, his hero...

MLB.tv Ignores The Existence Of Barry Bonds And Sammy Sosa
Ken Griffey Jr. wasn't able to hit his 600th homer yesterday, depriving the Great American Ballpark fans from the opportunity to see the milestone. (And then see Griffey get traded.) The Reds now take off on an eight-game road trip, and you'd have to think Griffey's gonna hit at least one over those...

University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...

That's One Way To Protest A Call
We don't see how any reasonable person could not see it as obviously intentional, but they've gotta investigate anyway....

Free Darko On Los Angeles-Boston
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the NBA Finals matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

Woody Paige Would Like To Trade Matt Holliday For Magic Beans
We've certainly made fun of Woody Paige for a while around these parts, but we've still given him a level of esteem and prestige above that of a random late-night talk-radio caller. But considering the amount of basic understanding (or lack thereof) of how the operation of a baseball team works he s...

Kimbo Slice Fascinates And Titilates The World
In gearing up for Miami Super Bowl spectacular in the winter of '07, one of the first emails Deadspin received from the overeager Lt. Winslow was this one:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......

HS Basketball Coach Corrupts Students With Game They'll Be Playing In Two Years
An assistant basketball coach at a high school in Ohio is under investigation by authorities for hosting a party in December in which minors were present whilst people were playing beer pong. Or Beirut. I don't where the regional line of demarcation is on the use of that term. Still, how else are y...

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

The Legend Of Kimbo Slice Takes 38 Consecutive Blows To The Head
I can't speak for the other MMA newbs out there, but I learned a few things during the EliteXC broadcast last night: apparently all MMA fights are stopped well before necessary. That and Kimbo Slice might not be living up to his outsize reputation. First, the announcer described internet sensation w...

Never Again Will I Trifle With Nightmare Shark
It looks like we're back in commission (I think, I hope) after a nice 20-hour ravaging by, uh, well, I'm not quite sure. Nibbles might have been frightened off by the shark photo. Look, it's involved, confusing stuff. They only pay me to post dick jokes and monkey pictures....

The Tiffany Network Introduces Old White People To A Big Scary Black Guy
CBS, the network that brought us such daring programs as Touched By an Angel and Joan of Arcadia ("We interrupt this broadcast of Joan of Arcadia and apologize to the sanctimonious, fear-based and probably overweight audience"), will be beaming Kimbo Slice into the homes of terrified millions, as m...

The Size Of Zyg Gregorek's Boat Is Just Fine, Thanks
If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him t...

Whitlock Says No Tattoos, No Fat Chicks Equals Ratings Bonanza
Jason Whitlock has a new column fortified with eight types of essential craziness, arguing that one of the main reasons ratings are up for the NBA Playoffs is that many of the teams that hung around are devoid of tattoo-clad ruffians and street toughs. Another shocking revelation: fat people have se...

Bill Simmons Puts On His Defeatist Hat
Oftentimes, Boston sports fans cringe when people uphold former Boston Sports Guy and current L.A. resident Bill Simmons' ramblings as a representative of their thoughts as a whole. And that's even when he thinks Boston teams are doing well. Some of them are taking added umbrage with Simmons' most ...