k Page 4092 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...

Ozzie Guillen And His Inflatable Fans
• Inflatable groupies. • A-Rod, cool under pressure. Totally. • Flomax! • Tim Tebow, a cut above. • A kid that is now somewhat less smelly. • The horse revolution. • Mindy McCready, not selling albums. • Look what two motorcycle crashes can produce. • Jamie Moyer has a friend in baseball schedules. ...

Boston Bruins First To Adopt Five-Blade Technology
Want a close, comfortable shave while enjoying your next NHL game? First, apply a liberal amount of transmission fluid. Then make sure that your Zamboni includes the Gillette Fusion Power razor, with advanced blade technology and featuring precision trimmer for those tricky spots, like around the en...

Dick Vitale Is Quite Diligent
If you've seen "Hoop Dreams," or if you've seen one of his "motivational" speeches, you see a very different Dick Vitale than the one shilling for pizza or Duke. He's impassioned, sure, but he's also optimistic and, occasionally, legitimately uplifting. You get a sense that really does want to make ...

So, You've Been Watching Chris Paul, Right?
We know that the Hornets lost last night, and that the Lakers are sweeping through the playoffs, and that LeBron is kind of embarrassing himself a little bit. But all this playoff business only brings one thing to our mind: Heavens to Betsy, Chris Paul is freaking amazing....

Michael Vick Might Run Out Of Money Sometime Soon
Michael Vick has now been in jail for about six months, and though he still has at least a year-and-a-half to go, he's not immune to bad news from outside the prison. As if possibly had any money left, now the Canadians are after him....

Seriously, Who Ever Thought A Magazine For Athletes Would Work?
We, like just about everybody else who has actually seen the man speak in the last five years, remain awfully skeptical of this supposed financial brilliance of Lenny Dykstra. If you need any more proof, just remember: He's still struggling with his magazine for athletes, "The Players Club." ("Keep...

About Last Night
What you missed while stocking up on healthy snacks ... • NBA: Cavaliers summon Iron Man after Celtics take 2-0 series lead. • NHL: Hot Wings to go ... Detroit wins series opener over Stars. • MLB: Don't try it, he's got the high ground ... O's 6-foot-9 Daniel Cabrera tames the Royals....

All Hail Derek Jeter's Golden Baby Arm
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop....

O How We Love The Wisconsin
If you are interested in the dumbing-down of the culture that we and our ilk gleefully purvey on a regular basis, and you happen to live in the greater Milwaukee area, we remind you to come out tonight and join us in Brookfield, Wisc., for another step in the GSTF book tour....

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when y...

THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....

Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Charles Barkley Admits To Dumbassery
Of everyone we've featured in our Media Approval Ratings, the two most popular media members are TNT's Ernie Johnson and Charles Barkley. (They've both ahead of Erin Andrews, for cripes sake.) This prank on Barkley, by Johnson, might help explain why....

HBO: Jessica Simpson Will Not Retard Our Football Camp Show
Everyone getting excited about the upcoming season of Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys has every right to be. With a colorful cast of characters to choose from like Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones (please), Tony Romo and the mesmerizing handywork of Jerry Jones' plastic surgeon, it'll be entertaining televis...

Rocky Statue: Target Of Penguin Terrorist Plot?
You may remember just a week ago that during the Montreal Canadiens/Flyers playoff series, some amped-up Habs fans decided desecration of the Rocky statue would be a good way to show team spirit and ward off an inevitable early round exit. Didn't work....

Mindy McCready's Confessions Haven't Translated Into Album Sales Yet
Mindy McCready, the "troubled" country singer who admitted she had some sort of relationship with Roger Clemens that would probably not be copasetic with Debbie Clemens, is also trying to revinvigorate her stalled country singing career with a new album, reality show, etc. Granted, plenty of other w...

Introducing The Booze Sandwich
So, young Americans, what's your preferred technique for sneaking booze into sporting events? In this day of increased security, one must expand one's horizons and think, as they say, outside the cardboard parallelogram. Witness these enterprising gentlemen and their successful attempt to booze up t...

It's PETA's World, We Just Live In It
When future generations study the first decade of the 21st Century, the debate of course will turn to the Great Racehorse Protests of 2008. In the wake of the Eight Belles tragedy at the Kentucky Derby, PETA is bringing all guns to bear on the remaining Triple Crown events; planning protests at the ...