k Page 4098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Four Out Of Five Dentists Think Joe Girardi Is Nuts
Further proof that Joe Girardi is the Frank Burns of AL managers; he has forbidden the Yankees to eat candy or gum. Yes, that should turn the tide. New York would have four or five more World Series trophies if not for the evil of Skittles. Girardi is being really strict about this....

Sing A Song, America, And Please Look Silly Doing So
Of all the legacies that Harry Caray left us — Horry Kow, folks! HORRY KOW! — the most lasting will almost certainly be the warblings of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" that have infiltrated not only Wrigley Field, but all our nation's stadiums. Well, now Major League Baseball is getting in on the "ac...

The Cubs Are Enjoying Their Solid Start
The Chicago Cubs have the second best record in baseball, are a half game up in first place in the National League Central and already are starting to gather those "they're gonna do it this time" mumbles around baseball. (How cute!) But allowing them to hang out in the dugout with Sports Illustrate...

Inglorious Bastardization
The Sports Illustrated cover line writers are big fans of glorious returns, obviously. But what makes these particular returns that much more glorious than others? This is the question posed by Deadspin reader Chris Corley, who asks who will be the next Return To Glory....

Catch New Jersey Nets Playoff Excitement!
It wasn't the best season for the New Jersey Nets — but hey, Vince Carter is still around! — but that's not stopping the Nets from maximizing all corporate sponsorship opportunities....

Pennsylvanians, Slam "Dunk" That "Vote"
If you happen to one of our Pennsylvania-area readers — and we know that some of you do, in fact, exist — we hope you've already made it out there and voted....

Canadiens Fans Advance To Second Round With Quiet Dignity
Sure, beating the Boston Bruins at any point in the NHL playoffs is a monumental achievement; just ask Bill Simmons. But I'm beginning to suspect that Montreal fans are just looking for an excuse to riot. Looting after a first-round playoff win? Really? Look, Canada ... the NBA Playoffs are going on...

Terry Pettis And The Infinite Madness
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

Media Approval Ratings: Mel Kiper
It's the one time of the year when we all pay attention to Mel Kiper Jr. — we never know if we're supposed to include the "Junior" or not — so we might as well feature him today before everyone forgets about him again....

Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...

Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...

Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...

Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...

Debating Race And Offensiveness, Chicago Style
Over the weekend, much commotion was made about the various Fukudome T-shirts and bandanas that were being sold at Wrigley Field. The one item that's caused the most controversy is the "Horry Kow!" T-shirt that is apparently now banned from being sold by vendors, which featured a slant-eyed Cubbie, ...

Danica Patrick Finally Wins, And That's Cool With Us
Danica Patrick, known to many sports fans as "the woman who is competent enough to be taken seriously and attractive enough to be overrated," finally won a race this weekend. Some have been mocking the achievement, but we dunno, we think it's impressive. It's hard to win races, you know?...

Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...

Did The Cubs Throw The 1918 World Series?
So get this: the Sporting News claims to have unearthed evidence that the Chicago Cubs may have taken a dive in the 1918 World Series, one year before the Chicago White Sox made the practice fashionable. Yes, instead of 100 years of frustration, the Cubs could be on the verge of a mere 90-year futil...

Sir, You Seem To Have Dropped Your Terrible Towel
For those of you out there whose Mondays feel incomplete without a naked picture of a Pittsburgh Steeler, your day is about to pick up a bit. First, it was kicker Jeff Reed, snapping a picture of his freshly shorn pubis region then having it hit the web. Now, wide receiver Santonio Holmes has allege...

Kenton Keith Is A Perfect Handcuff Running Back
Colts backup running back Kenton Keith was arrested early Sunday morning for drunk and disorderly conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops found him glassy-eyed and disrespectful outside of Cloud 9 nightclub in Indy....

I Want You To Hurt Like I Do
I love it when a team says that they have released a player "by mutual agreement." That usually means that the team says: "We're not going to start you anytime in the near future, and if you don't like it, then $#%! you." And the player responds: "&%$! me? No, &%$! you!" Various doors are then slamm...