names Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Butt's Name Is Patrick
Hmmm, you might want to consider catching this butt’s name before you jam your hand up inside of it. It’s Patrick, by the way, and next time, the least you can do is, I dunno, take the ass out for a slice or something....
Closed Captioning Error Blesses Nik Stauskas With Fantastic Nickname
Something wonderful happened during Tuesday night’s game between the 76ers and Kings. Sacramento rookie shooting guard Nik Stauskas hit a pull-up three, and the closed captioning translated the play-by-play call of “Stauskas, hitting the three” into “Sauce Castillo hit the three.” Sauce Castillo!...
Life Ain't Easy For A Basketball Player Named Fuck
That up there is a real headline, in a real newspaper, on a real story about a real basketball player named Guilherme Crabogiale Fuck....
Melvin Upton Explains His Name Change
Yesterday, MLB.com reported that Braves outfielder B.J. Upton will start going by his legal name, Melvin Upton Jr. That means it'll change on his uniform, on the scoreboard, even on his bats. Today, Upton reported to Braves camp and told reporters—some of whom still called him "B.J." out of habit—th...
Crustless Sandwiches Will Destroy America
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering mugs, Adrian Peterson, safety monsters, and more....
This Game Has Been No <em>Vacation</em> For Arkansas State
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Where Hulk, Cristiano Ronaldo And Other World Cup Stars Got Their Names
It's fitting that the World Cup hosted by Brazil, a country with such a unique anthroponomastic culture, is lousy with guys bearing interesting names and sobriquets. And while hearing these names and wondering where they came from offers one source of enjoyment, we've tried to actually find out what...
<em>Jeopardy!</em> Vs. <em>Wheel of Fortune</em>: Which One Makes You Feel Dumber?
I am a Thought Leader of Television, and so I've been asked to ruminate on the Big News that Jeopardy!—yeah! the exclamation point! is officially part of the title!—beat Wheel of Fortune in the ratings a coupla weeks ago, the first time in over a decade, and is this perhaps an indicator that maybe A...
People Try To Pronounce World Cup Names, With A Nicolas Cage Twist
This is not an average "people on the street struggle to pronounce foreign names" video tied into the World Cup. It's much, much better....
Better Ways To Name Hurricanes, Ranked
There's a paper making its way around the internet today that puts forth that hurricanes that are named after women have been historically more deadly than those named after men. There's an appealing simplicity of stupid to this—people associate men with strength, and get killed by hurricanes becaus...
The Most Commonly Misspelled Sports Names
In honor of the National Spelling Bee (which really ought to be a federal holiday), The Wall Street Journal has compiled a ranking of the athletes (and one Polish-Catholic coach) whose names are most commonly misspelled in print and online articles. You will probably guess No. 1....
Donte Whitner No Longer Changing His Name To One That's Nearly "Hitler"
The Browns' newest safety has decided against legally changing his name to Donte Hitner, and not for the obvious reason that you totally read it as something else upon first glance....
Presenting Your 2014 Name Of The Year
Shamus Beaglehole has prevailed. Here's to you, Shamus....
Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon
This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's c...
2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four
We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters i...
Name Of The Year 2014: The Elite Eight
We're down to just eight splendid name-inees, and we're happy to see each one of them picking up their own fan groups. The comments section has provided a thorough analysis to complement our own, and we hope to see more nuggets of brilliance as we approach the Final Four....
2014 Name Of The Year: The Sweet 16
We had a polling malfunction last week: The Bulltron and Sithole polls inexplicably closed early. Our bad, and thanks for letting us know on Twitter so we could re-open them; we might not have caught the error otherwise....
2014 Name of the Year: Round Two, And A Note On Middle Names
Before we get to the second round of our tournament, I'd like to share a tip we received from a reader named Jeffrey. Jeffrey is not himself a Name of the Year nominee, but he is a Brandeis alum familiar with Mingus Mapps, the Bulltron Regional's 8-seed and a Brandeis poli-sci professor....
2014 Name of the Year: Dragonwagon and Chrotchtangle Regionals, Round 1
We love it when our name-inees display some competitive spirit, so we were thrilled to receive an email in that vein last night from Bulltron competitor Bernie Wagenblast. Here's what he had to say:...