no Page 5534 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Morning Blogdome: Shea Stadium Drunk Man Jenga Is A Rousing Affair
• How many cups can you put on the drunk man's head?: The "colonel" of the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen comes through with something non-Stephen A.-related, but equally hilarious. This video is mesmerizing. [Rockin' Steady]• Shanahan breaks Vegas: "But that's not psycho degenerat...

When The Whistle Blows
Pity the poor secretary who trudges in to work this morning at the law offices of Jones, Skelton & Hochuli, P.L.C. in Phoenix. Being crushed by an avalanche of fax paper when you open the door is no way to die. Chargers fans spent Sunday evening posting Ed Houchli's work email and phone number all a...

Zambrano's No No, The Broncos Get A Gift And More Week Two NFL Highlights
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...

Creative Ways to Cheat Your Way to Success Back at the Office
Over the weekend, we've been presented with numerous ways to succeed by circumventing unfair and inappropriate "rules" meant to hurt you and not others by not giving you everything you want immediately. As we close out this weekend, let us give you the tools used by sports teams across the globe so ...

The Sun Sets on Another NFL Sunday
Bill Parcells must be wondering what kind of store you have to shop at to come home with groceries like Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. All he knows right now is that his roster of players from Publix just aren't going to get the job done. The Arizona pair racked up 293 receiving yards on 12 ca...

Surprise, Surprise: Terrell Owens is Once Again Acting Childish
The 2004 season in which Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens teamed up to lead the Philadelphia Eagles to their first Super Bowl since 1980 was one of the greatest seasons my maligned city has seen in decades. Terrell Owns was a huge part of that and was beloved for it … before his real lunacy started ...

Ball Sports Or That Prick Ari
What to watch while listening to girls talk, and talk, and talk... • MLB: Brewers @ Phillies (7:35 pm ET) [MLB.tv] — With a win tonight as part of a day-night double header, the Phils can complete a four game sweep of Milwaukee and move into a tie with the Brewers for the NL Wild Card spot. • NFL: P...

Cooley Exposed More Than His Playbook
Chris Cooley, a friend of the bloggers as well as an accomplished blogger in his own right, had a nice day on the field today, but I don't think that's what people are going to remember come tomorrow. Earlier today Chris posted on his official blog about a fun section of the playbook that Jim Zorn ...

On to the Late Games
But first...how 'bout them Redskins! Getting back to business, we're blessed with five late games, and a couple of them don't even suck. Then there are the ones that feature the Dolphins, the Falcons, and the Niners. Regardless I'm giving them all the equal treatment (except for the Dolphins, becaus...

Afternoon Blogdome: Gotta Be The Shoes
• Show Me The ... Shoe Deal: Michael Beasley fires agent, longtime adviser because he's not happy at his lack of sneaker deal. [Slam] • Who Wants a Soccer Team?: "Slammin' Mike Ashley has put Newcastle up for sale. It only makes sense: it's hard to run a team into the ground by undermining its most ...

Jessica Simpson Entertains Phoenix Baseball Fans, Car Wreck Aficionados
We may have had a bit of fun in our last visit with the notion that Jessica Simpson's opening act is Randy Johnson. However, we felt that perhaps we hadn't given the matter the proper respect it deserves. After all, a number of important and wealthy people knowledgeable about their industries determ...

NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...

NFL Update: Week 2 Third Quarter
• Bears 17, Panthers 13- Carolina rudely won't give up to the Neckbeard's superiority (17-23, 140 yards). Also: holding, Chicago. • Bills 10, Jaguars 16 - Maurice Jones-Drew scores a TD on a 74-yard drive for the Jaguars. • Giants 20, Rams 6 - Eli Manning: 17-26, 202 yds, 2 TDs, 86 commercials. Welc...

NFL Update: Week 2 Halftime
• Bears 10, Panthers 3- Both teams traded field goals in the second quarter. Matt Forte has 15 carries for 43 yards. • Bills 10, Jaguars 3 - Fred Jackson has four catches for 50 yards. • Giants 13, Rams 6 - Both teams traded field goals and then traded field goals again, including one at the half. E...

Pole Dancing: The Next Olympic Sport?
One of the major concerns of the IOC over the past few years has been how to garner interest in the Olympics among today's youth. There's been a trend to try and make Olympic sports a bit edgier. For instance, BMX racing and Snowboarding are now featured and there's been some discussion around skate...

That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...

Marquez Knocks Out Casamayor In the Eleventh
Juan Manuel Marquez is the new linear champion of the lightweight division after dominating Ring Magazine champ Joel Casamayor last night in Las Vegas. Once the 35 year-old got comfortable in the ring you never would have known he was coming up in weight to challenge the division's champion. Marque...

OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...