no Page 5550 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Don't Follow Him to Any Golden Clubs
You've got to give the kid credit: he does not shy away from insurmountable expectations. After following in his father's legendary footsteps at Georgetown, Patrick Ewing Jr., son of NBA Hall of Famer (scans NBA almanac) Patrick Ewing, is now a New York Knick. It's already Junior's third team, and h...
HUGH 3: Return Of The King (Part 1)
Just a little tip when you're submitting your bits of brilliance to The Hugh Johnson on AOL Instant Messenger: Phallic references will almost always get you to the front of the line. Rips on Andre Ware and Pam Ward are always welcomed. Hey, whatever you're selling, we're buying. But now it's time to...
Whatever Happened to a Good Old Fashioned Headbutt?
Score one for the extraordinarily thin-skinned. A judge in Naples, Italy recently awarded 1500 Euro to a fan of the Napoli Football Club for "existential damages" he incurred while attending a match against Inter Milan. The cause of the damages? Banners. But not just any banners. Banners that made l...
Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem
What to watch while praying David Duchovny gets the help he needs... • In progress — Sport: U.S. Open Tennis Third Round Coverage [CBS] - Admit it: you need your Mary Carillo fix. • 12:00 — Sport: Syracuse at Northwestern [ESPN2] - Why should the ranked teams get all the love? • 3:00 — Sport: PGA To...
When Cubs Fans Fight Each Other, Everyone Else Wins
Cubs fans show the Phillies that Chicago can hold its own when it comes to stadium violence. Lookin' good, Chicago! [The Fightins]...
Crisis Averted
You can rest easy, casual male tennis fans still reeling from the Ivanovic upset (C.M.T.F.S.R.F.T.I.U.s): Elena Dementieva and Jelena Jankovic are through to the next round of the U.S. Open. Dementieva easily advanced in straight sets over Anne Keothavang of...England? Really? Seems kind of Dutch t...
Mets Solidify Position for Upcoming September Collapse
Forgive New York fans for celebrating just a bit harder than usual last night. After all, they are coming off a big win on the last Friday before the month-that-shall-not-be-named. Carlos Beltran's dramatic grand slam put his team up by three on the Marlins heading into the bottom of the ninth. The ...
Gustav Evacuees Prompt LSU To Bump Kickoff Up To 11 AM ET
For those of you that thought our first college football Saturday couldn't start soon enough, you're in luck. That is, unless you live near the Gulf Coast, in which case you're probably running for your life from Hurricane Gustav. The Class 3 hurricane is expected to hit the Gulf Coast sometime Mon...
Week In Review: You Know, Sarah Palin Was Once A Budding Hannah Storm
So can somebody out there dig up some footage of "presumptive" GOP VP Sarah Palin in her days as a fledgling sports reporter in Anchorage? Does that footage even exist or did it melt inside some igloo? This is, though, an interesting choice. Kind of takes the teary-eyed sparkle off of Obama's Victor...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you get home via the awesome power of beer ... • Boxing: Champion Matt Godfrey vs. Emmanuel Nwodo, in Uncasville, Conn. (9 p.m., ET). Title Wave engulfs Mohegan Sun Arena. [ESPN2] • College football: Temple at Army (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN Classic]; Southern Methodist at Rice (8 p.m., ...
You know she has that Scooby-Doo tongue.
You see I don't, I don't work with any exact boundaries of the law because I wasn't consulted when the god damn laws were made. No, instead nameless, faceless politicians, the so called protectors of the moral majority decide what is right and what is wrong. I mean come on. I govern my life around m...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "LPGA's intentions are good, but suspending players and an 'English-only' rule isn't the way." — SheldonOvertonPrevious ESPN Featured Commentg of the Week, plus a Feat...
Afternoon Blogdome: He's Officially, Legally Insane Now
• Chad Johnson has left the planet: Apparently, this is for real. "I just called the Broward County (Fla.) Court Clerk and Chad Johnson is no longer. Officially, legally, yesterday, his name was changed to Chad Ocho Cinco." [LOTD] • Stupid hurricanes: "The LSU Appalachian State football game is now ...
U.S. Open Update: Ivanovic Out, But Hot Girlfriend Boxes Intact
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." This week, he's at the U.S. Open, watching tennis and taking creepy pictures of Brooklyn Decker from afar. Heading into the first weekend of the Flushing fortnight, we've lost one sult...
Cops Tell Different Tale About Fan Who Was Ejected Over "God Bless America"
The above video is of Yankee Stadium God-dismissing, anti-American Brad Campeau Laurion who enlightened us (and, seemingly, hundreds of other media outlets) about being forcibly escorted out of Yankee Stadium Tuesday night after he tried to go to the bathroom during the traditional 7th-inning rendi...
GTGs Are Gangsta, In A J.C. Penny Back-To-School-Sale Kind Of Way
If Georgia Tech goes on to football greatness this year they can thank two things: the new triple option offense, and the GTGs; that campus hip hop duo of DBay and Swaff who are taking the ACC by storm. Kind of. Check out their phat beatz following the the jump. I can just see DBay, the fat one, doi...
Arizona State's $8.4 million Dennis Dome Destroyed in 45 Minute Storm
Pitchfork Nation brought us our Arizona State preview. Now, they bring us a first hand report of the storm that completely destroyed the brand new indoor practice football practice facility at Arizona State. The Dennis dome is pictured above in happier times. When it was still standing. ...
NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Tennessee T...