no Page 6220 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Albert Belle Can Now Only Stalk His Cellmate
Yesterday, Albert Belle, after being arrested and charged with stalking, pled guilty yesterday and will serve 90 days in jail. He has already served 29 of those, which means he has 61 left, though we bet Belle has added wrong....

"You Get To Hit Somebody And You See Them Fall Over"
Considering how it went last time we brought this up, we are extremely hesitant to do it again ... and as we do so, we remind you that this woman — girl, actually — is 16 years old and should probably be considered that way ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while realizing that pretty much anything you do today will be a letdown from yesterday ... • Daunte's Inferno: Panthers beat Dolphins 19-10 in NFL exhibition. • MLB: Vanilla Hose 5 1/2 back after 10-0 win over El Tigres. • World Basketball: U.S. humiliates small western African repu...

Your Hans Moleman Special
Because we have a busy day tomorrow, and because of Josh Levin's amusing "America's Funniest Home Videos" piece on Slate, and because we're blown away by the 300-plus (and counting!) brilliant comments on the last story, we happily reward you with one of life's basic, most human pleasures. Enjoy....

Introducing The Deadspin Hall Of Fame
As disconcerting as it might be to consider or even comprehend, our little Hall of Justice here at Deadspin is not yet one year old. We started up the day before the NFL season began last year. We are completely bewildered as to how to feel about our upcoming one-year birthday: It both seems ridicul...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as raccoons make a videotape of your captured dog ... • Little League World Series: USA semifinal, Portsmouth, N.H., vs. Columbus, Ga., at Williamsport, Pa. Since they're apparently cracking down on coaches hitting their players, there's little reason for us to watch. [ESPN] • MLB: St....

NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Leftovers: Goodbye, Senegal
• OK, we're gonna try real hard to get fired up for the basketball world championships now. [True Hoop] • Oh, it's not good to taunt Scott Boras. [ESPN] • In celebration of Julio Franco's birthday yesterday, here's a look at how he did each birthday game since he started. [High And Inside] • What wi...

The Padres Very Much Value Your Patronage
You know those annoying updates you get from MLB.com all the time, which pretty much come without mercy anytime you buy a ticket online, like, ever. (We're still getting Phillies emails once a week because we went to a game there three years ago.) We always assumed those emails were sent out by prog...

What Tiger Will Be Up To In Five Years
We don't get into Tiger Woods much around — except to make fun of his facial expressions — mainly because Tiger Woods is, by both design and nature, an intensely boring, robotic character. He wins, and he wins again, and he breaks into a recognizable human emotion every couple of years. This is not ...

Rik Smits And His Tiny Bikes
We have had many thoughts about former Pacers center Rik Smits in our lives — Really. We have. — mostly involving his unique ability to look like the answer to the question: What would happen if aliens could grow mustaches?...

When Good Celery Goes Bad
On Wednesday we brought you the inspiring true story of Mr. Celery, a mascot for the Wilmington, Del. Blue Rocks Single-A baseball club. But across the vast Atlantic, there are also various celery-related incidents in sports. Reader Jeff ("Tonker") reports:...

Blogdome: Screwing Tiger Town
• One fan isn't happy about the Tigers raising their ticket prices so high for the playoffs. [Mickey Tettleton Memorial Overpass] • Tim Duncan hates music. [The Basketball Jones] • B.J. Upton should make all his plays from his ass. [Rays Index] • Carmelo Anthony can do anything in the basketball Wor...

NFL Season Preview: San Francisco 49ers
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...

A Board Meeting With LT
Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!...

Baxter Receives Amazingly Quick Justice
You know, we are no experts in the ever-turning wheels of justice ... but man, this Lonny Baxter thing got settled fast, didn't it?...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1:15 p.m. Actor Mark Wahlberg: Of all the people in the history of ESPN chats, you are the least likely to be on time. • 4 p.m. Football scientist KC Joyner: You're mad, doctor! You'll never be abe to put a normal brain into Terrell Ow...

PTI's Devilish Podcast
Ever wonder what "Pardon The Interruption" would sound like if it were hosted by Satan? (Please leave your Dan LeBatard jokes at the door ... if at all possible, anyway.)...

The Wrong Way To Impersonate A Blue Jay
Last night, after the A's victory over the Blue Jays, a fan ran on the field. This will happen from time to time, of course, particularly at the end of a game, after a few Molsons. But see, this fan, he had a special trick in mind: He would be wearing a Blue Jays jersey....