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The Happiest Place On Earth, After Mom's Favorite Antique Store
For the last post before Mother's Day, it would only be appropriate to feature the professional athlete who's the closest to his mother. That would be Super Bowl MVP Buster Bluth Eli Manning, who finally took his requisite parade float down Main Street of Disneyland on Wednesday after missing it in ...

Pistonmania Is Running Wild On The Magic!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

ESPN Upgrades Its Spelling Bee Coverage
Hate to ruin your day, but Mike & Mike are out as hosts of the Scripps National Spelling Bee coverage on ESPN and ABC in May. Taking their place will be the perky Tom Bergeron — whose work on America's Funniest Home Videos was once again overlooked by the Nobel Committee — and a very special sideli...

Inglorious Bastardization
The Sports Illustrated cover line writers are big fans of glorious returns, obviously. But what makes these particular returns that much more glorious than others? This is the question posed by Deadspin reader Chris Corley, who asks who will be the next Return To Glory....

About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...

Oh, You Are So Totally Grounded
In case you haven't seen this yet, the young Oregon fan giving the double-bird salute from the stands here toward UCLA's Kevin Love got into big trouble when he returned home. It seems that Sports Illustrated ran the photo with its story about rabid college sports fans a couple of weeks ago, and th...

Someone Alert the Watchdogs!
When will someone invent a bright red "ON-AIR" sign? Alas, it's too late for NESN's Andrew Brickley. The Boston Bruins commentator dropped an unfortunate "fuckin'" during last night's broadcast when he thought they were off air. Fortunately nobody was watching to alert the FCC. Boston Sportz has th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you wake up in Dublin, Ireland ... and you live in Cleveland. And you have no idea how it happened ... • Women's college basketball: NCAA Tournament Selection Show in Indianapolis (7 p.m., ET). Pat Summitt controls the space and time; can change the brackets with her mind. [ESPN]...

I Trust I Can Rely On Your Vote
Tomorrow's a pretty big primary day for the Dems, what with Texas, Ohio and, to a much lesser extent Rhode Island and Vermont, going a long way to determining who the nominee will be. With Greg Oden and Leigh Steinberg recently publicly throwing their support behind Barack Obama, we're once again co...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after getting your tongue unstuck ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Penn State (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Alabama (9 p.m., ET). Where's the love for Bruce Pearl? [ESPN] • NHL: Buffalo at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET); San Jose at Edmonton (9:30 p.m., ET). These games would be better if ...

About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...

Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...

Yep, They've Changed Everything Around Again
If a couple months have passed, you know what that must mean: It's time for yet another Gawker Media redesign of Deadspin. It's like the weather around here; if you don't like a redesign, just wait a while, something different will come along. And it will have hail....

About Last Night
What you missed while battling the Rodents of Unusual Size ... • NFL: Vikings win 20-13, oust Bears from playoff hunt. Mini-Ditka still alive, however. • NBA: Suns beat Spurs, and to add insult to injury they do it while wearing those funky orange-and-gray uniforms. • NHL: Red Wings beat Capitals 4-...

Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...


Which City Has The Ugliest People?
It's a question which has tortured us since we first read it about an hour ago: Which city has the ugliest people? Actually, this survey conducted by CNN News and Travel & Leisure Magazine is not confined to sports fans; it lists the cities with the ugliest residents overall. There were several cate...