Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel

If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name generator in which anyone can instantly become a Brazilian soccer legend. Me? I'm Chandlino ... get out of my way! Goooooooooaaalllllll!

More fun with the Brazilian soccer name generator:

• Eli Manning = ELILDO • David Beckham = CLAUDIO BECKHSON • Will Leitch = WILDO • Dennis Kucinich = KUCINACA

Cool Brazilian Names For American Athletes [100 Percent Injury Rate] Brazilname