owl Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Crappy, Grumpy Suns Took Two Cheap Shots At Ricky Rubio
One thing about being on an NBA team that’s rounding into the home stretch of a miserable tanking campaign is that it can make you cranky as hell. As evidence, please see the shenanigans the Suns got into with the Jazz last night....
Harvard Owned By Clumsy Referee
It’s a good thing nobody really gives a shit about the NIT tournament or has any capacity to feel sympathy for people who go to Harvard, otherwise we might have a real college basketball scandal on our hands....
Kansas High School Basketball Game Features Breathtakingly Dirty, Dangerous Foul
Here is an absolutely awful, perhaps criminal play from a high school basketball game in Kansas Friday:...
Russian Team Scores Late Game-Winning Goal In Most Assholish Way Possible
Good sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and kicking the ball out of play. Bad sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and stealing the ball from the injured fellow in order to go scor...
Jon Lester Is Doing This On Purpose Now
Despite being a professional athlete who is perfectly capable of throwing fastballs with pinpoint accuracy, Cubs starter Jon Lester cannot for the life of him throw the ball to first base. His struggles in this area have been well-documented over the past few seasons, but this spring he’s trying a n...
Someone In Tom Brady's Family Sold Their Super Bowl LI Ring For $345,000
It would appear a member of Tom Brady’s family has sold a Super Bowl LI championship ring, and for an absolutely bonkers $344,927. This is from a Darren Rovell report on ESPN:...
Dwight Howard Seemingly Forgets That You're Allowed To Jump In Basketball
Dwight Howard, who is listed at 6-foot-11 with a seven-foot wingspan, decided to use absolutely none of his god-given physical gifts as he tried to score on his old team tonight. Maybe he thought it would be unfair to the shorter Evan Fournier; maybe, in a burst of whimsy, he wanted to pretend to be...
Philly Cops Briefly Thought Corey Clement Was A Barricade-Jumper At The Super Bowl Parade
The problem with being a pro football player is that people might not know what you look like. You wear a helmet while you play. Sure, casual fans know what the star athletes like the quarterback look like—but maybe not anyone else. (For more private individuals, this may be a feature.)...
The Dunk Gods Giveth, The Dunk Gods Taketh Away
Sunday’s big Cavs-Celtics tilt in Boston is not shaping up how you might’ve reasonably imagined: The Cavs, with four brand new guys making their first ever appearances in Cavs jerseys, are mostly giving the business to the Celtics. That business featured this highlight, when J.R. Smith smushed the b...
The Eagles Beat The Patriots With A Heaping Dose Of Their Own Medicine
The Philly Special will rightly be the play that forever defines the Eagles’ victory over the Patriots in Super Bowl 52. But such ballsy trickery wasn’t some one-off bit of well-executed brilliance: The Eagles rolled up 538 yards and scored 41 points on the Pats, and they did it by doing a lot of th...
Here Are Some Unbelievable Feats Of Walking By The One And Only Lionel Messi
Lionel Messi is so incomprehensibly great because he has an almost unlimited arsenal of match-deciding, soul-snatching, title-winning skills and attributes—so many, in fact, that some of them threaten to go under-appreciated. Perfect example: some of his deceptively simple but actually staggeringly ...
Eagles’ Jason Kelce Cuts An Incredible, Profane Promo At The Super Bowl Parade
Jason Kelce—dressed in a Mummers outfit from the Avalon String Band—delivered an absolutely bonkers five-minute promo at the Eagles’ victory parade. He talked about team executive Howie Roseman losing his power struggle with Chip Kelly, called Ringer doofus Mike Lombardi a “clown,” sarcastically lis...
Eagles Fans Are Not Disappointing At Today's Parade
The Eagles’ Super Bowl parade is currently underway, and center Jason Kelce got things started on the right note. Philly fans have since livened up the festivities in their particular way....
Jason Kelce Is Having A Great Time At The Eagles’ Super Bowl Parade<em></em>
The Philadelphia Eagles’ Super Bowl parade is today. Jason Kelce—dressed as a Mummer—is already having a good time, as you can see from this clip from Action News....
American Defender Matt Miazga Fined For Honking Opponent's Dick
Not long ago, exciting young American center back Matt Miazga was out in England effectively ending the Chelsea careers of legendary players John Terry and Radamel Falcao. The defender is now in the Netherlands honing his craft with Vitesse on loan from Chelsea, and he’s still threatening to end car...
The Only Thing That Works About The NFL Is Football
My friend tackled Shaun Alexander. Not recently, I should note. This was years ago, and years before the brief period during which Alexander was the best running back on earth. Alexander led the league in rushing in 2005 and was voted NFL MVP by the Associated Press, and then was out of the league ...
Breaking Down The Philly Gas Station Looting Footage<em></em>
The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions, and the city is still here....
Nick Foles Called The “Philly Special” Play Himself
The “Philly Special”—the trick play at the end of the first half of Super Bowl 52 when backup tight end Trey Burton took the ball on an end around and threw a touchdown pass to quarterback Nick Foles—is already etched in the mind of every Philadelphia sports fan....
We Ate Lutefisk And Didn’t Die<em></em>
So this is lutefisk, and it sucks. It’s fish that been preserved in lye and broken down into a strange jellylike texture, which is exactly as appeitizing as it sounds. We bought it because we were in Minnesota and it seemed like a very Minnesota thing to do even though virtually NO Minnesotans eat t...
Malcolm Butler Releases Statement, Denies Missing Curfew
Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler, who remained mysteriously benched for the Super Bowl while the Patriots surrendered 538 total yards to the Eagles, has released a statement denying thinly sourced reports that he was held out of the game because he missed curfew....