Maybe you have seen this rumor circulating recently: Peru, the last team to earn their spot in the 2018 World Cup, might be passing a law that would disqualify them from participating in the World Cup, and like some dismal, shameful Christmas miracle, your very own U.S. Men’s National Team might replace them! Woo hoo!
Peru defeated New Zealand tonight, 2-0, to qualify for their first World Cup since 1982 and complete next year’s 32-team field.
It’s a funny thing, talking about what an athlete deserves. Sports are the ultimate results-oriented business, where no matter how much you love your mother or how kind and considerate you are to lovers and waiters or even how well you played in any given game, if the final whistle blows and you look up at the…
The above picture depicts some of the hundreds of cases ostensibly filled with tasty squid filets seized by Peruvian authorities yesterday. On the outside of these boxes are labels upon which the image of Barcelona star Lionel Messi, his name, and his brand logo are printed. On the inside are bricks of cocaine.
Peru earned their first in-competition win over Brazil since 1975 thanks to an incredibly obvious handball that interrupted the game for several minutes and appeared to leave the referee in a state of catatonic confusion.
Something incredible happened this week in Peru: an English bulldog named Otto set the new world record for “longest human tunnel traveled through by a skateboarding dog.” Otto, we salute you.
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to quite possibly the…
A yellow? You’re going to try to embed your cleats into this unsuspecting referee’s vertebrae for a measly yellow card? The world’s a cold, cold place.
Okay, you’re losing, and it’s at home, and maybe you feel the first straight red shown to one of your players was harsh, but Jesus, guys, get ahold of yourselves.
Joao Contreras Fuentes is either one lucky son of a bitch or tops on God's shit list, take your pick. He was playing soccer for the club Sport Aguila in the Copa Peru when a bolt of lighting leaped from Zeus' fingertip and basically erased Fuentes in the fashion of blowing out a candle. The bolt ignited and vanished…
International friendlies are unusual in soccer in that nobody there — a bit like the only baseball game I've ever been to — cares very much about the outcome.
This took place on Sunday, during a match in Peru’s top level. Club Union Comercio was down a goal with 20 minutes remaining when goalie Juan Flores corralled a ball before collapsing to the grass. It was heat exhaustion and Flores was fine, but we’ve seen far too many players go down like that with heart problems.…
Peru's football fortunes have rarely mirrored those of South American counterpart countries. They haven't qualified for the World Cup since 1982, and their U-20 youth squad has never gotten the nod for inclusion in that division's world championship. That could change with a strong performance in the CONMEBOL Youth…
"This is the voluptuous dancer Irina Grandez, who for love of the southern lands Blanquirroja arrived to put all the 'chest' by Peru, which now goes to 'kill' to Chile." [Translated from Gran refuerzo: Irina Grandez llegó a Chile para poner el pecho por Perú">Librero.pe] (H/T Sportsfeeder1)
Meet Irina and Daysy. They very much would like to see Peru win the Copa America. So much so, in fact, that they intend to go sans ropas if Peru prevails. Making that proposition all the more enjoyable is how Google Translate, well, translates stories about the aforementioned potential nudity. To wit:
During a match for promotion to the top tier of Peruvian soccer, one team handed the other "energy drinks." How friendly. Four players collapsed, and the drinks turned out to contain tranquilizers.
Boy meets girl online. Boy falls for girl. Boy moves from Peru to Seattle. Boy marries girl. Girl teaches boy to ski, at 34 years old. Boy makes Olympic team. It's the oldest story in the book. [Seattle Times]
Butch Cassidy: [spanish] Manos a... Manos, um... Manos arriba!
Sundance Kid: They got 'em up! Skip on down.
Butch Cassidy: Arriba!
Sundance Kid: Skip on down!
Butch Cassidy: Todos ustedes "arrismense" a la pared.
Sundance Kid: They're against the wall already!
Butch Cassidy: Donde... ah, you're so damn smart, you read…