port Page 477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Emmanuel Acho is turning into the Black Will Cain
Emmanuel Acho is determined to live his life as the token Black friend in every all-white movie. He’s the new Donald Faison....

Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you remember
The lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday....

Deadspin predicts every '1K' player for the 2022 NFL season, Part I: RBs
One thousand yards on the ground or through the air has long been a benchmark of success in the NFL. Having a 1,000-yard season under your belt makes any defense have to account for you when game-planning. Sure, there are some lesser-known players who had a career year or two surpassing 1,000 yards ...

The Olympics are going to make people sick
IOC President Thomas Bach is full of it....

'It turned my baseball utopia to Hell.'
WASHINGTON, D.C. — From perfect to panic....

NBC is going to give Simone Biles her own Popemobile
We’re now mere days away from the Olympics, and there’s not much to add to how much of a mess they already are. The virus has already gotten within the Olympic village, it’s within those who are soon going to be at the village, and it’s already waylaid a couple of the biggest stars that were suppose...

It’s a miracle no one was seriously hurt inside Nats Park last night
In 1989, the FA Cup semifinal between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest drew a sellout crowd to the Hillsborough stadium in Sheffield, England. ...

The great, young golfer not enough people are talking about
Update (7/18, 2:00 p.m.): Well, Collin Morikawa has won the British Open. Get used to hearing his name....
![Cops say 3 shot outside Nats Park in D.C. — fans told to stay inside till all-clear; game suspended [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/25c8e7c3beef3a2cbd1a2091604d7d9e.jpg)
Cops say 3 shot outside Nats Park in D.C. — fans told to stay inside till all-clear; game suspended [UPDATED]
A terrifying situation unfolded in Washington on Saturday night as gunshots were fired outside the ballpark during the sixth inning of the Nationals-Padres game....

No, not that Ryan Ellis
Ryan Ellis was traded to the Flyers on Saturday....

Preds' Ryan Ellis heads to Philly as teams get in last moves before NHL expansion draft
Flyers GM Chuck Fletcher got his man. The mild-mannered exec, rarely known for making big splashy moves, acquired Ryan Ellis from the Nashville Predators for former No. 2 overall pick Nolan Patrick and young defenseman Philippe Myers....

Previewing Sunday’s<i> Money In The Bank</i> PPV
Briefcase SZN is back! ...

International drama as Ugandan Olympic weightlifter breaks security bubble
Julius Ssekitoleko may not have thought this one all the way through....

Whatever Chris Paul does next is what people may remember most
When does it not work?...

Anti-boinking measures at Olympics officially surpass gold medal-level stupidity
Sex in the Olympic Village is a talking point at every Games, as if somehow it’s surprising that a bunch of young, hot, athletic people from all over the world have a habit of getting it on with members of the tiny subset of people who they can connect with over their very interesting and unique exp...

Really? The old 'fake news' gambit?
It would be nice if Liz Cambage didn’t try to refute reports that she broke COVID protocols with the term “fake news,” but the Australian star sure did defend herself after her withdrawal from the Olympic team during its Las Vegas training camp, for which she cited mental health....

Deadspin learns you something: Branson Robinson is the next great backfield bruiser
Five-foot-10, 220 pounds with a 40-inch vertical, a 4.49 40-yard dash, and a full beard to boot....

Who should be ‘next <i>men</i> up’ for Team USA if more replacements are needed?
This is not what the R&R Partners meant by “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”...

A 54-year-old Goldberg is reportedly returning to lead the WWE into the future
Y’all ready for this shit?...
