port Page 939 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cristiano Ronaldo Says Goodbye To South Africa
Portugal's main man went down without much of a fight—one garbage time goal in four games—but he let his saliva do the talking as his team left the field and the tournament. Video included below....

World Cup Open Thread: Spain-Portugal
The Battle of the Iberian Peninsula is here. Two extremely talented, extremely annoying squads face off to see who goes on to the last eight. Will we get an exciting game or a flop-fest? Follow the action and comment below....

Private Stache: Dutch Lovin'
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

World Cup Open Thread: Portugal-Brazil; North Korea-Ivory Coast
A Kaka-free Brazil and Portugal play to see who wins the group while Ivory Coast and the Bad Korea play for third place. Comment about the action below....

Realistic Memphis Fan Resigned To His Fate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

North Korean Beatdown Broadcast Live To Confused Homeland
Emboldened by their soccer team's "triumph" over Brazil, North Korean state television actually allowed yesterday's "revenge" match against Portugal to be broadcast live to its citizens, many of whom may currently be wondering: "Is seven a lot of goals?"...

World Cup Open Thread: Portugal-North Korea
Apologies for the delay this morning. Portugal's up 1-0 in the muck at halftime at Green Point Stadium. Discuss below. UPDATE: North Korea heroically holds the Portuguese to fewer than eight goals, according to a Pyongyang news agency....

Why We Must Invade Mali
FIFA's review of Koman Coulibaly won't answer the question of how someone with two lazy eyes and a day job as financial auditor for the notoriously corrupt Malian government was allowed to be a World Cup official in the first place....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Sara Carbonero (A.K.A. The Spanish Goalkeeper's Nagging Girlfriend)
That's Sara Carbonero, the Spanish TV reporter and ladypal of Iker Casillas, and wouldn't you know it, she's being blamed for Spain's loss to Switzerland. But what do we really know about her? Here we go again....

World Cup Open Thread: Ivory Coast-Portugal
If Drogba plays, this might be the best game of we've had so far. If he doesn't, expect Cristiano Ronaldo's preening to be even more insufferable....

Private Stache: Brawling In The Stands At The 1986 World Cup
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Read Two Smart Fellows Completely Dismantle A Sports Guy Column
Slate's Josh Levin and Tom Scocca had themselves a nice chat about Bill Simmons's latest, an NBA Finals Preview. Spoilers: They aren't fans. [Scocca]...

Win By Five, Lose The Game, Says Absurd Youth Soccer Rule
Old hotness: lead by five goals, game is called via slaughter (or "mercy") rule. New hotness: lead by five goals, other team automatically wins. The pussification of youth sports continues apace....

Trivial Pursuit Creator Goes To Wheel Hub In The Sky
Chris Haney, the Canadian photographer who invented Trivial Pursuit, passed away at the age of 59. So that's who to blame for all those times you needed an orange pie piece and got stuck with a question about mixology. [Globe&Mail]...

Mentos-And-Coke Car Propels Us Into The Future
Two mad geniuses have invented a rocket car, powered only by the dark magic of Mentos and soda. It's already the second-most popular vehicle class in the country, ahead of open-wheeled racing....

White Chocolate Would Really Prefer You Not Violate His Private Space, Mr. Reporter
The frustration of the Magic's poor showing thus far in the conference finals has reached its boiling point. Watch as Jason Williams swears a blue steak at a reporter, and Matt Barnes cannot help but laugh. H/T Jovan....

Private Stache: Ken Griffey Jr. Has A Senior Moment
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

The Pittsburgh Ownership War Heats Up
Pirates owner Bob Nutting is still bitter over the Penguins' ownership group's attempt to buy the Bucs. When the Pirates fired back with a petty, "objective" column (on a team-run site) trashing the Pens for this season's failure, it ignited a firestorm....

Soccer Commentary Can Be Hard To Understand But This Is Ridiculous (Video)
Click to view Tossing it down to a reporter on the scene always carries the risk of going haywire. That was the unfortunate case recently when British soccer's answer to Tony Siragusa was asked if there were any updates about the game. [Today's Big Thing]...