pti Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Indicted Official On National TV Broadcast: FIFA Funded 2010 Elections
Former FIFA official Jack Warner bought airtime on some of Trinidad’s biggest TV networks in primetime tonight to air his own “The Gloves Are Off” political message, claiming he had proof FIFA money influenced the 2010 Trinidad & Tobago national election....
How Much Is FIFA Like <i>The Godfather</i>? ESPN And ABC Count The Ways
Josh Margolin with ABC News is reporting today that Sepp Blatter is a target of the federal investigation unveiled last week, which included the indictment of 14 international soccer leaders and businessmen. Those charges included some old-school classics familiar to anyone to who loves a good organ...
Arrested Ex-FIFA VP Cites <i>The Onion</i> In Strange Self-Defense Video
Today in Dumb FIFA Man, arrested ex-VP Jack Warner tried to thank his supporters and clear his name during a strange Facebook video in which he cites a report from The Onion to prove FIFA’s generosity. ...
Missouri TV Station Airs <i>Branson Country USA</i> Instead Of Game 7
Hockey fans in Joplin, Mo. hoping to see an exciting Game 7 between Chicago and Anaheim tonight aren’t getting live Stanley Cup Playoffs hockey on NBC. No, their affiliate KSNF has the most redneckian of redneck shows on instead: Branson Country USA. The channel helpfully advises viewers looking for...
How Many Ways Can You Hide A Bribe? The Best Of The FIFA Indictment
“There are some people here who think they are more pious than thou. If you’re pious, open a church, friends. Our business is our business.”...
IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
Please Do Not Interrupt The Indianapolis Motor Speedway Chairman
IMS chairman Mari Hulman George has been ordering Indy 500 drivers to “start your engines” for longer than most of us have been alive. Today, another woman tried to butt in on her command, Kanye-style. Mari Hulman George wasn’t having any of it, and damn near backhanded the young lady....
Closed Captioning Error Blesses Nik Stauskas With Fantastic Nickname
Something wonderful happened during Tuesday night’s game between the 76ers and Kings. Sacramento rookie shooting guard Nik Stauskas hit a pull-up three, and the closed captioning translated the play-by-play call of “Stauskas, hitting the three” into “Sauce Castillo hit the three.” Sauce Castillo!...
Madonna Needs A Nap
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to dri...
The Tears Of A Clown
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Even The Big European Powers Can't Stop The Winter World Cup In Qatar
As the tides of progress surge on, even Europe realizes its powerlessness in the face of Qatar's insistence on making the 2022 World Cup the first to be held in the winter, thus wrecking the domestic leagues' seasons. Our last hope for sanity to prevail—a defiant UEFA protecting its own highly-profi...
Closed Captioning Goes Insane During Fox NASCAR Broadcast
Reader Doug noticed last night that the closed captioning for Fox Sports 1's NASCAR broadcast "seemed to be drunk." Sure enough, midway through the second race at Daytona the captioning suddenly started spitting out repeated misspellings of various MLB stars' names. This went on for more than five m...
At Least 14 Killed In Egyptian Soccer Riot; Fans Post Photos Of Victims
According to Egyptian state television, a soccer riot that broke out in Cairo today left at least 14 dead (Update: authorities are now saying that the official death toll is at 22). The clash was between supporters of Egyptian Premier League club Zamalek and security personnel at Air Defense Stadium...
MLB's Awful Blackout Rules Are Finally Under Attack In Court
Major League Baseball's exemption from federal antitrust law may not be secure as we thought....
MLB, The Giants, And The Law Job The A's ... Again
Major League Baseball is breathing a huge sigh of relief after a federal appeals court upheld a broad scope of the league's exemption from federal antitrust law on Thursday. But the league's win comes at a high price for the Oakland A's—and adds to the literal shitstorm the A's are in at the old a...
11 Sports GIFs That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity
With terrorist attacks in the U.S. and France, a man throwing his five-year-old daughter off a bridge to her death, and more alleged Bill Cosby victims, it's tough to have a positive outlook on the world at large. As a public service, then, we searched to find eleven GIFs that will restore your fa...
Here's How Deadspin Will Sign Off When The World Finally Ends
A little earlier, our brothers-in-arms over at Jalopnik published the secret video CNN intends to play when this world of ours finally ends. Have a look. It is appropriately somber, or whatever, but we at Deadspin think we can do better, because we can. Below is the hot content each Deadspin sta...
Head FIFA Investigator Quits To Protest Cover-Up
Michael J. Garcia, the former U.S. Attorney who spent 18 months investigating charges of corruption levied against FIFA only to have his 432-page report locked away and publicly summarized in a 42-page report that Garcia himself deemed to be incomplete and inaccurate, is tired of this bullshit....
High School Team's Game-Winning Drive Kept Alive By Immaculate Reception
This happened last Friday in a playoff game between Louisville Central and Corbin High in Louisville, Ky. Louisville Central beat Corbin 36-33 thanks to two fourth-quarter touchdowns, the second of which was precipitated by this insanely fortunate catch. This may not quite live up to the original Im...