pti Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pardon The Coitus Interruptus
Maybe you've experienced the act of lovemaking. If so, please tell us what it's like; we're bloggers. But have you experienced lovemaking as narrated by Kornheiser and Wilbon?...
Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....
Team Field Trip Gets More Baptismal Than Expected
You're a high school football player, on a team-building excursion. Your coach promised you steak, so you and your teammates are really looking forward to it. When suddenly — bam!! — surprise baptism....
Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...
Hooray! America Is Still Dominant In Something!
The U.S. has won another LLWS. Let us reflect on the wise words of former attorney general Herbert Brownell: "The young Americans who compose the Little League will prove a hitless target for the peddlers of godless ideology." [AP]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Carolina Panthers
Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
Starred Commenter Theater: Cannonball
Canada's Eric Sehn dives in the men's 10m platform preliminaries at the World Championships last week. [Reuters via The Big Picture]...
Starred Commenter Theater: The Watermelonheads
Fans, wearing watermelons on their heads, watch the Rays-Blue Jays game in Toronto on Saturday. [Canadian Press/Associated Press via WSJ]...
Starred Commenter Theater: Water Polo Roughhousing
Show your open caption abilities, please. [A Hungarian water polo player, right, and his Serbian opponent in the quarterfinals of the world championships in Rome; image via European Pressphoto Agency via NYT]...
Recruiting Information Wants To Be Free
It's hard to determine which end of the recruiting process is more corrupt. In one corner are the coaches who feed egos to drive theirs; in the other are the AAU type who extort high schoolers' phone numbers for cash....
Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...
Although This Type Of Scene Is Likely Not To Occur At The Deadspin Meetup, Please Do Drop By
No, I'm assuming there won't be any impromptu jello wrestling matches or any females present besides those being dragged out by their significant others or friends-of-friends of Gawker media. This doesn't mean you still can't stop by for free beer....
Scientists: Barry Zito Is An Optical Illusion
Next time you whiff on a curveball, blame it on your brain. Visual scientists recently applied the functions of foveal and peripheral vision to baseball, proving the curveball's sudden and severe "break" is a trick of the eyes. The graphic will occupy you for hours. Plus, it's science. [Illusion Sci...
Learning English The Kornheiser And Wilbon Way
I'm not sure how often "Stick a fork in them, the run is over, Wilbon," comes up in normal conversation, but if it does, these Chinese students learning English have that situation covered....
It's Like Jezebel's "Snap Judgment", Only With Sports
There's something magical and wondrous located just out of the frame. What do you suppose it is? [KansasCity.com]...
Charles Barkley Apologizes For Speaking The Truth
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
Michael Wilbon Just Can't Contain His Kinkyness Anymore
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....
MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...