ronaldo Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D'Or Campaign Is Getting Really Gross
UEFA president Michel Platini made a pretty reasonable comment in Madrid earlier this week, saying in his opinion the Ballon d'Or should go to a German player after the country's success in the World Cup. The statement set off the Real Madrid spin machine though, and the team took matters into their...
Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy
Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked....
Meet <em>Marca</em>, The Hilarious Propaganda Arm Of Real Madrid
It's maybe a little difficult for Americans to grasp just how deeply and blatantly in the tank the European press can be for the local XI. And no one is deeper and more blatantly in the tank for the local XI than the media in Spain, where the local XI means either Barcelona and Real Madrid and where...
Fat Ronaldo May Be Fat, But He Can Still Jump Really High
While it's perhaps a little surprising that a man can exercise, as Fat/Real Ronaldo is depicted doing in the Vine below, and maintain a gut like that, it isn't a shock to see that one of the greatest players ever still has enough hops to clear 113cm with a standing jump:...
Book: Ronaldo Refers To Messi As "Motherfucker" Behind His Back
According to Cristiano Ronaldo, the constant comparisons to and ranking of him and Lionel Messi are slightly annoying but ultimately disregardable facts of life. According to a new book, though, Ronaldo takes the rivalry much more seriously and has a whole behind-the-scenes protocol for how he and h...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Ronaldo's Girlfriend Reacts To Flirty Jokes With Coldest Ice-Grill
Just look at that face. Yes, it's the face of Irina Shayk, super model and Cristiano Ronaldo's long-time girlfriend, but it's also the face of a woman that is FED. UP. with jokes about her man's underwear modeling and waxing regimen....
Today, <em>El Clásico</em> Is The Only Thing That Matters
For as world-stoppingly important as it feels every time Real Madrid and Barcelona take the pitch against one another, we've actually become a bit inured to them over the years. If it seems like there are about eight El Clásicos every season nowadays, it's because there pretty much are: in the past ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores 95th-Minute Goal To Lead Portugal Over Denmark
Of course he did....
Cristiano Ronaldo Likens Ugly Tackle To Rugby; Rugby World Turns Stupid
Cristiano Ronaldo was none too happy about his early exit from last week's Champions League match between Real Madrid and Ludogorets, necessitated by this late challenge in the final minutes. After the game, the winger described the tackle thus: "It was a very ugly tackle and it seemed as if we were...
James Rodríguez Opens La Liga Account With Beautifully Struck Goal
Real Madrid president Florentino Pérez may not have any understanding of soccer tactics, but he does know flash when he sees it, and Colombian World Cup standout James Rodríguez is certainly flashy. With Madrid up 1-0 in today's game against Deportivo La Coruña, Rodríguez took a pass from Karim Be...
Atlético Madrid Prove La Liga Is Still A Three-Team Title Fight
Heading into the weekend, the seventh Madrid derby of 2014 was the biggest match on the slate, just like it was the best match of the preseason during the Spanish Supercup, and just like it was the biggest match in the entire sport during the Champions League final a few months earlier. This one d...
Ain't No Liga Like The One I Got: Your 2014-15 La Liga Preview
Here we are. The La Liga season has just started up, and now we get to watch the league with the world's three best players, its two best teams, and the saddest hodgepodge of patsies since Enter the Dragon. In spite of these financial realities, Spain managed to produce Europe's wildest title race...
Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect
Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long ar...
This Ronaldo GIF Is Stupefying, Perfect
There is surely an explanation, but just watch this for one moment, unadulterated by context, and enjoy it. It's wonderful. The inexplicable behavior from the host and Ronaldo's 1,000-yard stare momentarily interrupted by a blink that says what the actual fuck? Amazing....
Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo dribbles between Fabian Johnson (23) and Kyle Beckerman of the United States during last night’s Group G World Cup game.Ryu Voelkel is Howler Magazine's European photographer. He's currently in Brazil shooting for his forthcoming book of World Cup photography, RYU X RIO,...
Did Cristiano Ronaldo Really Cut His Hair For A Kid With A Brain Tumor?
There's a very good chance that when Cristiano Ronaldo turned up to yesterday's showdown with the USMNT with the mark of Zorro shaved into the side of his head, you laughed your ass off and wondered what the hell what he was thinking. There's a pretty good chance that later, you felt like a jackass ...
Joel Embiid Supports Cristiano Ronaldo, Receives Twitter Bile
NBA draft prospect Joel Embiid was happy for Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal when they tied the U.S. in a last-minute finish. Americans on Twitter were not happy with Joel Embiid....