screamer Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![CNBC Airs Stoppage-Time Dong [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/h08gkcqdvf1umjwujwae.jpg)
CNBC Airs Stoppage-Time Dong [NSFW]
CNBC is known for its coverage of money markets, including the value of the Yuan, Euro, and Yen. But today, it was covering the Dong. A Huddersfield keeper’s dong, to be specific....
Geoff Cameron Rips Bruce Arena And U.S. Soccer A New Asshole
Anyone with half a brain could recognize that Bruce Arena’s second tenure as USMNT coach was a monumental failure of historic proportions for which he deserved to be exiled to Soccer Siberia and never heard from again. Ditto for U.S. Soccer’s broader complicity in allowing the men’s national team to...
Here Are Some Unbelievable Feats Of Walking By The One And Only Lionel Messi
Lionel Messi is so incomprehensibly great because he has an almost unlimited arsenal of match-deciding, soul-snatching, title-winning skills and attributes—so many, in fact, that some of them threaten to go under-appreciated. Perfect example: some of his deceptively simple but actually staggeringly ...
Liverpool Fans Will Absolutely Love Philippe Coutinho's First Barcelona Goal
Because soccer fans are a famously circumspect, magnanimous, and selfless bunch, they often continue to wish the best for players that once represented their beloved clubs but have since moved on to pastures new. Hence why Liverpool fans have to be downright brimming with pride and delight after see...
Sydney Leroux Dwyer's Son Is A Total Cutie Pie Who Has A Savage Burn For His Dad
USWNT stalwart Sydney Leroux Dwyer and her husband, Orlando City striker Dom Dwyer, have produced one of the premier sports babies with their son Cassius. Sydney bolstered her 17-month-old’s growing reputation for reliable adorability yesterday with an Instagram video of a little trick she taught hi...
Video Replay Thwarted When Flag-Waving Fan Blocks Camera
Video replay in soccer, as in all sports, sucks. This is true mostly for philosophical reasons, but also for logistical ones, too. Like when this Boavista fan inadvertently boned their own team by waving a huge flag that blocked the camera angle that probably would’ve invalidated the opponent’s goal...
American Defender Matt Miazga Fined For Honking Opponent's Dick
Not long ago, exciting young American center back Matt Miazga was out in England effectively ending the Chelsea careers of legendary players John Terry and Radamel Falcao. The defender is now in the Netherlands honing his craft with Vitesse on loan from Chelsea, and he’s still threatening to end car...
In Spain's La Liga, Celebrating A Goal Is Apparently Worse Than Racism And Sexism
Sunday’s La Liga match between Barcelona and Espanyol was an eventful affair. The animosity-fueled Catalan Derby was as charged as usual, and this one in particular had some notable flashpoints that inspired the league office to open an investigation. Just, not into any of the actual bad stuff that ...
Gerard Deulofeu Is Back Where He Belongs
It only took a couple months for everyone to realize what had seemed obvious from the outset: that Gerard Deulofeu had made a big mistake coming back to Barcelona. Despite the Neymar departure and Barça’s subsequent struggles to lock down a replacement opening up an unexpectedly perfect avenue for D...
Mohamed Salah Is No Lionel Messi, But He Might Just Be The Next Best Thing
It would make sense if this fact had eluded you, but in between contentious referee decisions there was actually a hell of a game of soccer played at Anfield yesterday between Liverpool and Tottenham. Because the job of managing is so inherently conspiratorial, and fandom so often joyless and blinke...
Adam Lallana Loses His Mind, Tries To Choke Out Teen Opponent In Rehab Appearance
Adam Lallana has had a terrible year. The Liverpool midfielder missed the first four months of the season with an injury, and has since experienced setback after setback. He got to take the field with the Liverpool U-23 squad today, an appearance which came to a fitting and abrupt end, when he was s...
Victor Wanyama's Stunning Golazo Kicks Off Insane Spurs-Liverpool Ending
Tottenham’s Victor Wanyama both scored an equalizer for Spurs and demonstrated the very high quality of the Premier League nets on an absolute bullet of a strike against Liverpool in the 80th minute. And that’s just where the craziness starts....
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Riyad Mahrez Is Trapped In Leicester
Leicester City star Riyad Mahrez missed training today. It was the fourth consecutive session he’s not attended, and not because of an injury or any other valid excuse that would justify his skipping of practice. No, Mahrez has missed training because he’s mad at the club, and it’s hard not to feel ...
Cyle Larin's Transfer Debacle Demonstrates Once Again How Absurd MLS Rules Are
The raw facts of the transfer of Orlando City’s Cyle Larin to Beşiktaş in Turkey were bizarre enough in their own right that you’d have to go to some lengths to avoid noticing that they pointed up one of the most obvious aspects of American soccer, which is somehow puzzlingly controversial when stat...
Report: West Ham Director Doesn't Want African Players Because They "Cause Mayhem"
After being confronted with leaked emails in which he advocated against signing a Senegalese player, West Ham’s director of player recruitment Tony Henry admitted to the Daily Mail that the club does not want to sign any more African players....
Neymar Catches Too Much Shit For Trying To Have Fun<em></em>
Late on during a tight and tense cup match between PSG and Rennes, Neymar—trying to wrangle a long punt and wind down the clock to protect his team’s 3-2 lead—was whistled for what he believed to be a soft foul on Rennes’s Hamari Traoré. To whittle away even more time, Neymar kicked away the ball be...
Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...