si Page 1002 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Bizarro Bill Simmons
From the great Yard Work satirical blog, here's an imaginary (but just barely) selection from Bill Simmons' mailbag:...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Mementos Lost To Time
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell answers a question we've always had: What happens to all the merchandise they make for the team that loses in the championship game? Rovell tracks how merchandisers made "2005 NBA Champions" apparel for both the Spurs and the Pistons — it's only the third time ...
The Goofy Brooklyn Nets Design
Now that the NBA lockout is settled and we are assured of continuous basketball until 2010, we can now look forward to the most intriguing franchise move of all: The New Jersey Nets heading to Brooklyn. While some people debate the merits of a new stadium at all, Nets owner Bruce Ratner has skipp...
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"...
If There Were Anyone To Fire, Someone Would Totally Be Fired
In this week's Sports Illustrated, Michael Silver writes a long-winded piece about the resurgence of women's softball, not just on a collegiate level, but also in the pro realm. He warbles extensively about Jennie Finch's role on the Chicago Bandits, a professional team that played its first game ye...
Well, Bush Certainly Understands Black People
According to Bloomberg News, the NBA has hired Bush campaign consultant Matthew Dowd to clean up its image and bring in new fans. Dowd, who was Bush's "Chief Strategist" in his successful campaign last November, says he has given the league "some strategic advice," most notably on how to win fans th...
Tampa Does What It Can To Please Bill Simmons
In a surprise announcement yesterday, the city of Tampa was awarded the Super Bowl in 2009. In a nod to the constant, insufferable bitching by everybody's favorite Interweb columnist, SportsFrog.com points out a key factor in the decision:...
Sports Illustrated Keeps Finger On The Web Pulse
Featured Web site in Sports Illustrated's "SI Players" section this week: ManuGinobili.com....
Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time
You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly th...
Just Thinking Out Loud Here ...
Major congrats to the Montclair (N.J.) High School softball team, which scored two major upsets to advance to the Essex County finals Saturday night before falling to Caldwell High 1-0 in eight innings. Caitlyn Bishop, you're doing one incredible job as Mary Beth King's heir in the circle. This team...
SI.com: The Web's Pauly Shore
From the things that were a bad idea from the start department: Some poor sucker at SI.com tries an imaginary conversation between Larry David and Nate Newton. Highlight: So? It bothers me. Sitting within a 10-foot radius of this kind of gluttony bothers me. And what I am supposed to do when I'm fin...
SI.com's Fun Advertorials
We'll be honest: We don't know who Rob Stanger is. According to the bio that runs with his new column on SI.com, he is the head teaching pro at the Golf Academy at Mission Hills in Rancho Mirage, Calif., is recognized as a Golf magazine Top Teacher in America in the West Region. How this qualifies h...
New Bill Simmons Cartoon Arrives; Oscar In The Mail
The moment you've all been waiting in lines for months for is here: "Season Two" of the Bill Simmons cartoons!...
Your Bill Simmons Translator
It's that time of day: The Bill Simmons Translator! The highlights of today's More Cowbell column:...
Lineup Set For Lingerie Bowl III
In case Paul McCartney doesn't do it for you anymore, the happy folks who organize Lingerie Bowl III have announced their lineup for this year's Pay-Per-View extravaganza. Jenny McCarthy and Cindy Margolis are the biggest names, and the organizers are optimistic. The significant drop in this past...
SI.com's Tortured Crawl Toward Relevance
Poor SI.com. Two years ago, ESPN.com's Page 2 took them so far by surprise that by the time they realized what had happened, Page 2 had already become stale and boring. (Except for you, Bill! We love you, Bill!) The undignified pant continues with a Sports and Star Wars: The Connection, a sad, tired...
What's Bill's Cartoon About?
Tomorrow is the day we have all been waiting for: A new Bill Simmons cartoon! It has been nearly three months since we last saw the little animated Bill — save that weird scary one at the top of his page that blinks — and, hey, who hasn't missed them?...
Welcome Back, Bill!
Bill Simmons has returned, with, of course, another excuse. Posting anothershambling "More Cowbell" column (a name that had gotten old before it even started), Big Bill apologizes, saying that he's still deep in edits on his book that we've already read. Other vintage Bill highlights, with what he's...