Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
This image was lost some time after publication. Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"
The Plot: Bill and his buddies (the fat redhead guy and some asshead wearing his hat backwards) are sitting at Fenway Park, the first sign that this isn't true to life. A man in front of them, with his two kids, is talking loudly to his wife on his cellphone. Bill and the boys mock him for a bit. David Ortiz comes to bat, and the man, trying to talk over the crowd, stands in front of them and yells. A foul ball is hit in their direction, and as they all scramble for it, it lands in the cellphone man's lap, who screams appreciatively into his phone. Cut to Bill and his buddies, for a spit take. Wha-wha-whaaaaat?
The message: Talking on your cellphone at the game is bad? Jerks who make fun of kids are bad? Foul balls are difficult to catch? We're pretty vague on this one.
The jokes: We're still waiting.
Tidbits: The cellphone man looks like Jon Lovitz ... Simmons' dialogue delivered in the fashion of Cindy Crawford in "Fair Game" ... two minutes long ... still feels like it needs an intermission.
Sports Guy's World [ESPN.com]
Three Takeaways From Wyndham Clark’s U.S. Open Victory
WWE Mid-Year Grades for Rising Superstars in 2026
Father’s Day in Sports: Three Dads Making a Huge Impact
Manel Kape Calls for Title Shot – Will He Get It?
Brendan Sorsby Could Be Worth the Gamble for These NFL Teams
Three NHL Teams Ready to Make Major Offseason Moves
- Best Super Bowl Bets to Make Before NFL Training Camps Begin
- Wednesday MLB Best Bets: Two Pitcher Props for June 17th
- MLB Best Bets Today: Two First Five Innings Plays For Tuesday’s Card
- MLB Best Bets: Rockies, Dodgers and Chase Burns Highlight Monday Picks
- 2027 NBA Championship Odds, Picks, and Sleepers
- Rockies vs. Athletics Sunday June 14 Betting Pick
- UFC Freedom 250 Best Bets: White House Fight Night Picks

