soccer Page 206 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lionel Messi Scores Record-Breaking 86th Goal Less Than A Week After Going Down With Injury
Call him "MESSI-ah." The world's greatest association footballer capped off his best year ever by breaking Gerd Müller's 40-year-old record of 85 goals in a calendar year midway through the first half of a La Liga match at Betis after tying the record minutes earlier.. That he did so mere days aft...

"Kenny Shiels Is A Bawbag" And Other Reactions To A Scottish Soccer Coach's Crazy Idea
Kenny Shiels is the manager of the Scottish Premier League's Kilmarnock F.C. Manuel Pascali, one of the club's midfielders, is supposed to serve the second of a two-game suspension this Saturday against Celtic, but Shiels disagrees....

After Injury, Soccer Player Now Has Too Many Knees
This is the leg of Celtic winger Kris Commons, a few hours after being fouled in a Champions League win over Spartak Moscow that sent Celtic through to the round of 16. It has too many bumps in it....
![Lionel Messi Suffers Knee Injury In Meaningless Match; Run At Breaking Goals-In-A-Year Record May Be Over [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/187g6j1n9dke9jpg.jpg)
Lionel Messi Suffers Knee Injury In Meaningless Match; Run At Breaking Goals-In-A-Year Record May Be Over [UPDATE]
Lionel Messi came into today hoping to break Gerd Müller's 1972 record of 85 goals in one calendar year. Now, after suffering what appears to be a knee injury during this evening's Barcelona-Benfica match, fans are wondering if Messi will even take the pitch again in 2012. ...

Soccer Writer Fantasizes About Joey Barton Being Gay, Because He Despises Joey Barton
This brief column, written by Martin Samuel for the Daily Mail, is one of the most head-scratching pieces of sportswriting you will read all year. As far as we know, there's been no indication that English soccer player Joey Barton is gay. That's why Daily Mail columnist Martin Samuel finds it so ap...

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Yesterday's Dinamo Zagreb-Dynamo Kyiv Champions League match in Croatia found itself being played under those most beautiful of conditions: a massive snowfall that blanketed the pitch. (It led to one of the prettiest delayed games you'll see in awhile.) In the end, a stoppage-time penalty allowed Z...

Manchester City's Aleks Kolarov Grumbles The Least Enthusiastic "Jingle Bells" Ever
Manchester City is doing an online "Advent Calendar" for December, featuring a different player in a daily holiday video. Sunday's video featured defender Aleks Kolarov singing "Jingle Bells." OK, maybe calling it "singing" is a bit generous. After watching this, you'll be infected by whatever the...

Well, Isn't This Just The Cheekiest Backheel Goal?
There's a ton of history between AFC Wimbledon and Milton Keynes Dons. MK Dons began life as Wimbledon, before a controversial move brought a new name—and left Wimbledon without a team. A year before the move, fans started their own club, and AFC Wimbledon has achieved five promotions over the last...

Youth-Soccer Referee Dies Shortly After Being Beaten By Players
Associated Press reports don't get much more grim than this one, concerning the death of a youth-soccer referee after he was beaten by a group of kids from the game he was officiating:...
![Did Fox Soccer Studio Hosts Go Too Far In Mocking This Obese Fan? [UPDATE: Rob Stone Apologizes]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Did Fox Soccer Studio Hosts Go Too Far In Mocking This Obese Fan? [UPDATE: Rob Stone Apologizes]
Rob Stone's addition to the Fox Soccer studio team a year ago has livened up what was previously a very proper and Continental panel of experts; when he's alongside Eric Wynalda the cable net that is the United States' soccer home can now feature entire conversations in "American."...

Soccer Player Wipes Ass With Money, Brits Lose Their Shit
West Bromwich defender Liam Ridgewell won a bet with a friend about eight months ago and took the picture you see to the right as a way of gloating. He didn't tweet it or post it to his facebook account by accident, but somehow someone got a hold of it and sent it to the tabloids. You won't find a ...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

The Girl Who Sang The Worst National Anthem Ever Writes In: "It Wasn't Nice All The Things You Said About Me On The Internet"
Harper Gruzins, the 11-year-old girl behind what our own Tim Burke called the worst national anthem rendition ever in July, reached out to Deadspin earlier this month in November. Here's what she had to say:...

Dutch Soccer Player Released From Team For Being A "Wildpoeper," Which Is Someone Who Poops In The Woods
There must be an epidemic of people shitting outside in the Netherlands. Why else would the Dutch have a specific word that is used to describe public shitters, and why else would a soccer player be immediately released from his team for being discovered as a "wildpoeper?"...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Man City striker Mario Balotelli finally scored his first league goal this week against Wigan, and the wacky Clown Prince of the EPL decided to celebrate with a new tattoo. This alone wouldn't be noteworthy, except that the tattoo is on his chest and reads:...

Spurs Suffered An Own Goal When Aaron Lennon Kicked The Ball Off Gareth Bale's Face
Tottenham Hotspur holds a 2-1 advantage over Liverpool as of this writing, and Spurs players Aaron Lennon and Gareth Bale are responsible for all three goals; they each have one for their own team, and they contributed to put the ball in their own net in an ill-fated attempt to clear a Steven Gerr...

The Most Exciting Action Of The Weekend Was In This Kids Relay Race
Even without betting on them, the races and games held during stoppages in play of sporting events are often the most thrilling action of the day; it's possible I miss the mites games between periods more than anything else during the NHL lockout. This relay race, from half time of yesterday's Sou...

Man City Star Kolo Toure Carried On Affair For Two Years, Pretended He Was A Car Salesman Named Francois
This is just amazing. Stuck in our American-centric sports sphere, we often forget the mega-popularity of soccer and by extension the fame of those who play the game. Kolo Toure earns £90,000 a week. That is approximately $145,000 american dollars. A week. In other words, he's a big star. The kind ...
![Turkish Soccer Team Hath Summoned The Prince Of Darkness [UPDATE: Never Mind, We Were Had By Photoshop]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/185xjevjl5vfejpg.jpg)
Turkish Soccer Team Hath Summoned The Prince Of Darkness [UPDATE: Never Mind, We Were Had By Photoshop]
Update: Turns out none of this ever happened. The photo above is actually an altered version of this photo, which was taken at the Estadio De Luz in Lisbon. Our souls are safe again....

Shakhtar Donetsk Is Not Ukrainian For "Good Sportsmanship," Takes Advantage Of Injured Player To Score Equalizer
In a stunt that has soccer traditionalists around the globe shaking their heads, today's UEFA Champions League match between Nordsjælland and Shakhtar Donetsk is bathed in controversy as Shakhtar's Willian took advantage of a drop-ball to fire a long-range pass to Luiz Adriano who raced past a baff...