tea Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty
If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
The Phillies Put One In the Win Column Already
Home Run Derby kicks off its World Series coverage in the classiest way possible, by pitting the Ball Girls of the Philadelphia against those people that jump on top of the dugout for the Tampa Bay Rays. So far, the Ball Girls are trouncing the Rays in online voting poll, which will hopefully be eno...
You The Man Now, Dawg
It's one thing to be arrested, but to be arrested for something called "pedestrian under the influence" and then having your mugshot show off the stylish temporary Bulldog tattoos stuck to your face ("cheek flair") adds another level of humiliation. That's what happened to former Georgia Bulldog and...
Twelve-Year-Old Girl Kicked Off Boys' Basketball Team For Being Too Good
Oh man, those boys on that basketball team are done. Jaime Nared is a 12-year-old, 6-foot, 1-inch basketball player from outside Portland, OR. She's just finished sixth grade and she's now playing with a girls high school traveling team because she's too good to play with girls her own age. Perhaps ...
High School Kicker Booted Off Team for Acting Like, Being Girl
Let this be a lesson to all young girls out there: nothing positive can come from having Kathy Ireland as a role model. Kacy Stuart, prospective place kicker for McDonough, Georgia's New Creation Center high school, has been booted from the team for having the audacity to not be born a dude. Kacy ha...
Dream A Little Redeem With Me
Heading into the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, the United States men's national basketball team had two goals. First and foremost, they wanted to win a gold medal. That is, after all, the primary mission of any Olympic quest. The secondary objective, though, was no less important to the psyche of eve...
Those Redeem Team Players Just Can't Help Being So Damned Charming
This smartly dressed-looking woman is named Stephanie Stricklen, a reporter for KGW Northwest News 8 in Portland, Oregon. For the past couple weeks, she's been assigned to traipse around Beijing and add a friendly, familiar face to her station's Olympic coverage. And just like track star Kara Gouche...
IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...
Farwell and Adieu, You Slant-Eyed Spanish Ladies....
Amid all the controversy (or non-controversy — if you're European) surrounding the Spanish men's basketball team's "slit-eyed" photo it's hard to tell who's really wrong here. Is Spain just a culturally backwards country or are we a bunch of hypersensitive whiners overloaded on politically correct b...
Spanish Basketball Team Celebrates Trip to China With Slant-Eye Team Photo
Spain, patron saint of the New World, land of low-priced cerveza, Sergio Garcia's homeland, and where slant-eyed jokes by the Spanish national basketball team leave the entire country rolling on the floor with laughter. Those were the fourth grade days. Just imagine what would have happened if they...
So How Much Trouble Is Team USA In, Really?
Is Team USA doomed? Should an 87-76 win over Australia on Tuesday in the final tuneup before official Olympic competition be considered a good thing, or a harbinger of doom? Is this shaping up to be a debacle like 2004, when we could only manage a bronze? When Argentina asks you how their ass taste,...
Yankee Revenue To Immediately Double In New Stadium
Last year the Yankees brought in an estimated $327 million to lead all major league baseball teams. Not bad considering that in 1973 George Steinbrenner bought the entire team for $10 million. But if you think those revenue numbers are big, you ain't seen nothing yet. When the new stadium opens next...
If Team USA Fails to Win Gold Again, Will Whores Be to Blame?
Team USA, undefeated in meaningless games against international competition thus far this summer, is having a grand ol' time in Asia right now. But as much fun as it is to beat up on hairy foreigners, there's nothing quite like visiting some of the finer brothels the region has to offer. Just ask Le...
Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...
Just Because Justin Gimelstob Doesn't Like Her, It Doesn't Mean He Can't Stare Intently
Here's a photo from Down The Line that shows Washington Kastles hard-on Justin Gimbelstob admiring Anna Kournikova's newly-inflated kaploogas at a recent World Team Tennis match in Washington D.C. Gimbelstob, as you may remember, not-so-famously said that Kournikova was a "bitch" and that he "despis...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your friend, Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson ... • Boxing: Light heavyweights, Chris Henry vs. Rubin Williams, at Houston (9 p.m., ET). Shouldn't the jock be worn inside the trunks? [ESPN2] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 5, Cholet to Chateauroux, France (8 p.m., ET). Why must the sea...
Mike Lowell Kills With Cell Phone Pranks
Those crafty Red Sox, you never know what they're going to be up to next....
Morning Blogdome: Don't Go For Second Best, Baby
• A-Rod, His Wife, and Lenny Kravitz walk into a Madonna concert...: So, you're Alex Rodriguez, attending a Madonna concert with your wife and you say to yourself, "God. Madonna. She's really brawny and inspiring. I wish I could talk with her and just figure out how she does it." And you're Cynthia,...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...