tea Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Downside Of Doing Your Teacher
We've covered many, many instances of teacher/student-athlete fornication. The latest issue of Rolling Stone reveals that even though it seems like every teenage boy's fantasy, it can really fuck a kid up....
It's Becoming More And More Clear That Dallas Cowboys Players Shouldn't Leave The House
Another member of America's Team runs afoul of the law after a long night out....
The One With A Shivering Canadian Women's Basketball Team
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...
The Seminoles vs. The Sigmas: A Blow-By-Blow Account
More details are floating in about the battle royale between members of the Florida State football team and the Phi Beta Sigma fraternity and if they turn out to be true ... they are amazing. The Seminole fan blog I Bleed Garnet and Gold has what is reported to be an eyewitness account of the procee...
Florida State Prepares For Boston College... By Thumping Some Black Frat Boys?
Details are still sketchy at this point, but apparently there was a little brouhaha on the campus of Florida State University yesterday and we don't want to alarm you ... but the football team may have been involved. Campus police say about ten individuals were involved (including at least two women...
All-Purpose Pitching Machine Also Teaches Kids Not to Lie
We had this one really hard teacher in junior high. You know the type of teacher that thinks they're preparing you for the harsh realities of adulthood through tough love, including random screaming and no late papers and picking books about four grades higher than your class' skill set and wonderin...
Buck Burnette Just Can't Stop Apologizing for Absent-Minded Facebook Racism
After Texas backup center Buck Burnette was kicked off the team for his idiotic Facebook status comment, he issued a sincere apology that, at the very least, proved he knew what he did was wrong. The online contrition tour continues for Burnette, and now he's fired off another apology via Longhorn f...
Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty
If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
The Phillies Put One In the Win Column Already
Home Run Derby kicks off its World Series coverage in the classiest way possible, by pitting the Ball Girls of the Philadelphia against those people that jump on top of the dugout for the Tampa Bay Rays. So far, the Ball Girls are trouncing the Rays in online voting poll, which will hopefully be eno...
You The Man Now, Dawg
It's one thing to be arrested, but to be arrested for something called "pedestrian under the influence" and then having your mugshot show off the stylish temporary Bulldog tattoos stuck to your face ("cheek flair") adds another level of humiliation. That's what happened to former Georgia Bulldog and...
Twelve-Year-Old Girl Kicked Off Boys' Basketball Team For Being Too Good
Oh man, those boys on that basketball team are done. Jaime Nared is a 12-year-old, 6-foot, 1-inch basketball player from outside Portland, OR. She's just finished sixth grade and she's now playing with a girls high school traveling team because she's too good to play with girls her own age. Perhaps ...
High School Kicker Booted Off Team for Acting Like, Being Girl
Let this be a lesson to all young girls out there: nothing positive can come from having Kathy Ireland as a role model. Kacy Stuart, prospective place kicker for McDonough, Georgia's New Creation Center high school, has been booted from the team for having the audacity to not be born a dude. Kacy ha...
Dream A Little Redeem With Me
Heading into the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, the United States men's national basketball team had two goals. First and foremost, they wanted to win a gold medal. That is, after all, the primary mission of any Olympic quest. The secondary objective, though, was no less important to the psyche of eve...
Those Redeem Team Players Just Can't Help Being So Damned Charming
This smartly dressed-looking woman is named Stephanie Stricklen, a reporter for KGW Northwest News 8 in Portland, Oregon. For the past couple weeks, she's been assigned to traipse around Beijing and add a friendly, familiar face to her station's Olympic coverage. And just like track star Kara Gouche...
IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...
Farwell and Adieu, You Slant-Eyed Spanish Ladies....
Amid all the controversy (or non-controversy — if you're European) surrounding the Spanish men's basketball team's "slit-eyed" photo it's hard to tell who's really wrong here. Is Spain just a culturally backwards country or are we a bunch of hypersensitive whiners overloaded on politically correct b...
Spanish Basketball Team Celebrates Trip to China With Slant-Eye Team Photo
Spain, patron saint of the New World, land of low-priced cerveza, Sergio Garcia's homeland, and where slant-eyed jokes by the Spanish national basketball team leave the entire country rolling on the floor with laughter. Those were the fourth grade days. Just imagine what would have happened if they...
So How Much Trouble Is Team USA In, Really?
Is Team USA doomed? Should an 87-76 win over Australia on Tuesday in the final tuneup before official Olympic competition be considered a good thing, or a harbinger of doom? Is this shaping up to be a debacle like 2004, when we could only manage a bronze? When Argentina asks you how their ass taste,...