Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty

If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner has ever seen in her career", you have to give pause. Especially when it allegedly came at the hands of former Los Angeles Rams kicker Tony Zendejas. The gruesome details - and they're gruesome in a "you can't unread them" kind of way - are available for your viewing displeasure after the jump. Bringing you up to speed, the allegation is that last January, Zendejas met "Jane Doe" at a bar and gave her two mixed drinks that were mixed with a little something extra. The two went off to a hotel room, where she woke up the next morning with pain in two of her more tender areas.

She said she felt pain in her vaginal and anal areas and immediately suspected she had been raped by Zendejas. The examiner, Malinda Wheeler, said the woman had a large tissue tear in her anus - she said it was the largest she had seen in her career - and more minor tissue damage in her vaginal area.

The real news, and inspiration for our headline, comes months later when Ms. Doe and two undercover agents met Zendejes at a bar in an attempt to clear up exactly what went down that fateful night, so long ago:

"Tell me about that night because I don't remember," she said she told Zendejas. "I knocked you out," she said Zendejas told her. "I took that booty."

That's what you call an incriminating statement, ladies and gents. Zendejas will now be forced to stand trial for four felony rape and sodomy charges. We'll keep you posted. Former Los Angeles Rams kicker Tony Zendejas to stand trial [Daily Bulletin]