the Page 1053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him....

And It's Like Nothing Ever Happened ... Presto!
So, now that the 9-1-1 call from publicist extraordinare Kim Etheredge has been made public and now that the police have ruled the incident an "accidental overdose," well, everything's back to normal now, right?...

Still Wading In The T.O. Morass
You know, it's strange how, after the frenzy of Terrell Owens-related madness yesterday, it all seems to have died down today. It never fails to bewilder us that once an athlete denies something, mainstream reporters just kind of say, "OK, well, must not be true, then!" and move on. There seems to b...

The Human Being Vs. The Publicist
A legitimate question as we tie a big ribbon on this whole Terrell Owens suicide business for the day, which, we have to say, ESPN has done a rather outstanding — if predictably overdone — job of covering today:...

"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...

Hirshey Quickie: Soccer Cheerleaders In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....

An Update On America's Dorkiest Sports Feud
So remember, the Sklar Brothers-Bill Simmons feud? Simmons apparently has disliked the "Cheap Seats" hosts' comedy sensibilities for years, and, probably because it's not exactly ESPN's most popular program, Simmons has been allowed to openly mock it in his columns. The Sklar brothers have always se...

If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...

The Closer: Tigers Caught In Vicious Cycle
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

Mess With The Catman, Get The Claws
If we've said it once, we've said it a million times; when football broadcasters are allowed to attempt humor — especially at Fox Sports — it's all of us who suffer. Coming out OK in the end, though, was Carolina superfan Greg Good, known to all as Catman. Let's wrap up the details for you once ag...

Hirshey: Sweetness And Light In The Prem
David Hirshey writes weekly about the Premiership for Deadspin....

NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....

NFL Season Preview: Carolina Panthers
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...

Hall Of Fame Inductee: Renee Thomas And Angela Keathley
Presenting the next member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

Hall Of Fame Inductee: You're With Me, Leather
Presenting ... the first member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

You Take It ... No, You Take It ... No, YOU Take It!
From the Magazines That We All Loved As A Child And Now We Need To Be Reminded, In Fact, Exist Department, the St. Louis kids at The Sporting News learned today they have finally been sold, to, of all people, Si Newhouse and the Conde Nast empire....

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 1
• You know what I hate? "Oooo-EEE! Spendin' limit? Who cares? Not us, cuz them ain't our currrr-edit cards." That's what I hate....