They Just Don't Make Mennonites The Way They Used To

So, yeah, this Floyd Landis business. Heavens.

To get you up to speed, before he was scheduled to testify against Landis in his suspension hearing, former Tour de France champion Greg LeMond — a longtime anti-doping advocate — claimed that a friend of Landis called and threatened him the night before. What was the threat about?

Well, it appears in an earlier time, Landis and LeMond were such good buddies that they shared deep secrets. Landis confessed to LeMond that, well, he'd kind of cheated by blood doping. And LeMond shared with Landis that he had been sexually abused by an uncle as a child. Landis, being a good Mennonite, decided to use this information against Lemond, having the friend call him and claim they would give up the information that "LeMond's uncle and they would play 'hide the weenie.'" This is really what the friend said. (He even admitted it later in the day.)

LeMond decided to go public with his "secret" anyway, testifying against Landis, burying him in the process. (Justifiably, if you ask us.) And a cycling trial turned into daytime television. "Hide the weenie." Jesus.

By the way, Greg LeMond has now been molested by his uncle and shot. Life's more difficult for bicyclists than we ever imagined, apparently.

The Floyd Landis Case Just Exploded [Steroid Nation]