ti Page 1677 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods Spits On The Green, Golf Gets All Offended
Disgusted with his Sunday collapse in Dubai, Tiger hocked up a loogie on the 12th green. That was all announcer Ewen Murray needed to label Woods "arrogant and petulant," and the European Tour fined him an undisclosed amount....

Big Baby Davis Would Like To Have This Fast Break Back
Your morning roundup for Feb. 14, the day A.J. stole Philadelphia's heart forever....

Croatian Soccer Fans Turn The Sky Red For Their Team
Croatia's oldest football club, Hajduk Split, turned 100 this weekend. So, fans appeared to storm the castle and torch everything in sight. Or something like that....

Your Heat vs. Celtics Open Thread
Both the Celtics and the Heat have 14 losses on the season. When they get done playing this afternoon, one will be in sole possession of first place in the Eastern Conference and the other will have sole possession of second place....

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....

Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....

The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....

Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...

Isles Goon Runs Business More Successful Than His Own Team
Zenon Konopka, who leads the NHL in penalty minutes this year, is a grapeseed oil magnate. He makes and sells wine, too. Then, presumably, Sandis Ozolinsh drinks it. [AmEx Open Forum]...

Ray Allen Humbly Breaks The NBA's 3-Point Record
Last night, Ray Allen made the 2,561st three-pointer of his professional career in a 92-86 loss to the Lakers and gave Reggie Miller a hug. He did this, as he reportedly does everything else in his life, quite humbly. Even if it is true that all 2,562 of those three-pointers (he knocked down another...

Tiger Woods Is Having A Great Time In Dubai
Your morning roundup for Feb. 11, the day the White House has to play whatever cards they have left…...

Having A Heart Attack? Call Up Sports Talk Radio
Very devoted listener "Smokey" wouldn't let a little myocardial infarction stop him from calling in to Paul Finebaum's show this afternoon. He even got the ER nurse to confirm, as if we'd think he was any weirder for making this up....

No, A Coach Donating His Kidney To A Player Isn't An NCAA Violation; Yes, They Had To Make Sure First
Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter donating one of his own kidneys to freshman player Kevin Jordan is one of the best stories we've heard in a long time. So we're not sure if it speaks more to our cynicism or the labyrinthine bylaws of the NCAA that we honestly wondered: does this violate anythin...

Titans WR Kenny Britt Has A Problem With Bail Bondsmen
To hear Bails Bails Bails and Boss Bail Bonds tell it, Tennessee Titans WR Kenny Britt swore he'd cover the $12,500 necessary to cut his Jersey City boy Albert Robinson free of The Man's clutches, but when time come to pay, Britt didn't step up....

Customs Workers Destroy $10,000 Jersey
When Swiss sports memorabilia collector Olivier Démoli ponied up $10K for a jersey worn by French player David Trezequet in the 1998 World Cup final vs. Brazil, the rarity of the item made the purchase worthwhile....

The Most Pirates Story Ever: Pittsburgh Loses Arbitration Case Against 1-11 Pitcher
Yeah, we know arbitration is about more than one isolated season, and Ross Ohlendorf is better than that record would suggest. Still, this doesn't happen to any other team. [Post-Gazette]...

There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....

Iowa City Arsonist Witness Looks Remarkably Similar To The GEICO Caveman Guy
Police in Iowa City, Iowa are on the hunt for an arsonist who allegedly burnt down an apartment building a week ago. As a few tipsters have shrewdly pointed out, the prime witness in the investigation, and the possible suspect, bears a striking resemblance to the caveman from those awful GEICO comme...

If Tiger Woods Can't Sell Bedding, No One Can
From India of all places comes this mattress ad, promising that a little destroyed career isn't anything you'll lose sleep over. To paraphrase the old 1-800-Mattress commercials, leave off the last "S" for sluts....