ti Page 1704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

Cardinals Website Doesn't Give Two Hits About Copyediting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Carmelodrama, Day Two: Twitter Won't Say Whether He Got Hacked
When the Lord's Day began, talk was that Carmelo Anthony issued a $5K "bounty" involving the Slapping of Kat Stacks' "Pigeon Face Ass" overnight. Specifically ......

Broncos Fans Try To Make The Tebow Haircut A Thing
Two men wearing matching Tebow jerseys as well as matching "Friar Tuck"-style bald caps and wigs. What isn't there to like about this picture?...

Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....

Everyone Still Really Pissed At The Marlins
The outrage over the Marlins and all that money they pretended not to be making continues unabated. Meanwhile, it has occurred to Dan Le Batard that a businessman might be both good at his job and an unscrupulous shit....

No, We Will Not Pay $1,500 For Brandon Spikes's Alleged Chatroulette Sex Tape
Some things are worth digging into our sack of scuzz money. The Patriots' second-round draft pick getting pleasured and broadcasting it to random strangers is not one of them....

Antonio Bryant Is: The Eight Million Dollar (Invisible) Man
The Bengals cut Antonio "I guess he's pretty good, but he's been stuck in Tampa Bay, so who the hell knows" Bryant, and will owe him $8 million just for showing up to camp for a few weeks. It could be worse....

The University Of Miami's Jose Canseco Arrives, Shocks No One
Nevin Shapiro—an alleged Ponzi schemer and ex-University of Miami booster—is threatening to publish a tell-all book about the program. It'd be like that movie The Program, but with less James Caan and more fiduciary malfeasance. Or something along those lines....

Historians Would Later Pinpoint It As A Pivotal Moment For The King Of Pop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jay Mariotti "Was and Is a Pissant."
Those are Bulls and White Sox Owner Jerry Reinsdorf's words, not ours....

Lil Wayne Loves Him Some Maria Sharapova
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiki Barber's Young Girlfriend Pens Icky Memoir, Promptly Called Homewrecking Whore
Two days ago, Crushable.com published an odd story written by Traci Johnson, the young blonde thing Tiki took up with after he separated from his pregnant wife (so he says). Readers were not impressed....

Golf Trash Talk Is Just The Best
We're a month off from the Ryder Cup, but the reigning champion captain just told the Euros what's what with the photo equivalent of "scoreboard."...

Man Lights Rival Soccer Fan In Sheep Costume On Fire
The Hibernian supporter was playing with his lighter when the Aberdeen fan — in a homemade sheep costume — went up in flames. The weirdest part? This is the second such case in the UK this year....

Strasmas Is Canceled
Well, ain't this a kick in the teeth? Sometimes you can do everything right, and have it all go wrong. That's the story of DC, and the story of baseball....

Last Night's Winner: Bryce Harper's Accelerated Destiny
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those poor bastards in Washington. Sure their franchise savior might need Tommy John surgery, but they've got another one stashed away....

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...