ti Page 1704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here’s An Update About The Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Earlier today, Philadelphia police announced they'd arrested two of the four imbeciles who beat someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....

Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...

Jay Mariotti Charged With Felony Stalking And Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend Again, Faces Five Years In Prison
According to a press release issued by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, former ESPN commentator Jay Mariotti pleaded not guilty today to allegations of stalking and assaulting the former girlfriend he was convicted of assaulting last year. Here's the release in its entirety:...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

Bernard Hopkins Promotes Upcoming Fight By Calling Donovan McNabb A House Negro
Not long ago, HBO aired a promo for Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal in which the brassy tongued Hopkins verbally mauled his Haitian opponent. Unfortunately, HBO wasn't present when Hopkins lost his mind yesterday and voiced some astounding opinions about Donovan McNabb. Good thing Hopkins voiced the...

Mysterious Blackjack Savant Single-Handedly Busts Tropicana Casino
The New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement yesterday reported April revenue for casinos in Atlantic City. The numbers, down across the board, are disheartening for the second-biggest gambling market in the country. Heartening for the rest of the world, however, is that the Tropicana Casino and Re...

Big Baby Enters The Mirror Stage
Glen Davis had the opportunity this season — after the Celtics traded away Kendrick Perkins and while Shaq enjoys a paycheck and a warm seat as he eases into retirement — to earn real minutes and to anchor the second unit. He tried. He averaged about thirty minutes per game during the regular season...

Why Hockey Has Gone Totally Gay For The Latest Homophobia Debate
Hockey, for a sport that's nominally proactive in areas ranging from replay to concussions, has never been especially progressive. No one expects the openly gay pro athlete, the inevitable big story for the next decade, to come from the NHL. While other leagues have John Amaechi and Billy Bean and E...

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...

The Lakers Had A Group Meltdown In Honor Of Phil Jackson's Final Game
Let's avoid speculating about why the Lakers are avoiding Kobe Bryant on the court, and why Pau Gasol broke it off with his girlfriend, and how those two things may or may not be related and may or may not have lead to this 4-0 sweep, and just point out that Los Angeles played like a team — despit...

The <em>New York Times</em> Pushes Up Its Glasses, Issues Nerdiest Correction Ever
I'll just let the Times explain:...

Watch Rajon Rondo Dislocate His Elbow, Channel Willis Reed
Rajon Rondo not know pain. Him not need elbow. Rondo shouldn't have planted his arm like that when Dwyane Wade landed a textbook reverse flying scissors trip, but maybe Rondo doesn't need that arm. It dangled limp at his side as he returned for the fourth quarter to play defense and distribute the...

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander Throws Second Career No-Hitter
In today's 9-0 win over the Toronto Blue Jays, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander was within one walk of a perfect game. His first career no-hitter came against the Milwaukee Brewers in 2007....

When Will the One-Year Career Come to an End?
It really doesn't matter how many times My Player is an NBA All-Star, nor how durable he is on the Road to the Show, or to Glory, or to the Masters. Every one of them will suffer a career-ending injury:… [Kotaku] ...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
At 5 p.m., the Oklahoma City Thunder visit the Memphis Grizzlies with their series tied-and-bound at one game a piece. Three hours later, the Boston Celtics try to keep from ceding a 3-0 series lead when they host the Miami Heat. Everybody dance, now....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a chromium-toothed alien erupt from its intestines....

Figure Skating Is Much More Tolerable When Routines Are Super Mario-Themed
Here's Tatiana Volosozhar and partner Maxim Trankov doing their graceful skating thing at the 2011 World Championships in Moscow earlier in the week. No Beethoven. No Handel. No terrible 70s ballads. Just Mario....

Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....

Dance Show Contestant Hines Ward Sees Nothing Newsworthy About Getting Cuffed At Gunpoint Today
Hines Ward, who guest blogs about Dancing With The Stars for the Los Angeles Times, was driving home from a late dinner through North Hollywood early this morning when he "was briefly detained at gunpoint in a mix-up over a reported stolen car." Seems as if his ladyfriend (or friend who happens to ...