ti Page 1703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cam Newton Is Still Gene Chizik's Golden Calf
Your morning roundup for May 17, the day the greatest two-sport athlete you've probably never heard of turns 99. (Photo by random Auburn student, via SportsFeeder. Full photo here.)...

LeBron, Wade, Bosh "Human Centipede" Sign Too Gross For Display Inside United Center
But according to CB Probasco, artist and season ticketholder, the sign was a big hit outside the arena. Suggested headline from Brett, another participant, was "FEED HER! Taj Gibson Certainly Did," but I didn't want to ruin this poster with that haunting imagery. Too late, I guess....

Danny Ainge And Doc Rivers Maybe Kind Of Possibly A Little Bit Regret The Kendrick Perkins Trade
Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers present a clinic in saying a lot without saying much at all. Here's Ainge, on WEEI's The Big Show today, making an argument about a legitimate argument that one could make that he most certainly is not making:...

The Next Stage Of College Baseball Rain Delays Had To Be Medieval Jousting
Choreographed dance sequences could only last so long, so here's the Radford pitcher Mark Peterson taking on High Point catcher Kyle Mahoney in a rain delay joust yesterday. What's the next most likely development? Red Rover? Double Dutch? Russian Roulette?...

Watch As This Rugby Player's Face Ripples Like A Face Probably Shouldn't
The above video comes from tipster Graeme (naturally), who explains it thusly:...

Cruz Azul Fan Tries To Shake Hands With Cruz Azul Player, Starts Massive Brawl, Is Rescued By Other Team
Just shake the guy's hand and have a laugh. You don't need to knock him down and kick him. Because that would make any proud fan upset. Here's the play-by-play: A Cruz Azul fan takes the field after his team goes down by three goals. He approaches Gerrardo Torrado with sarcastic salutations. Torra...

Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Tie The Spanish League Goal Scoring Record
After knocking in these two free kicks against Villarreal yesterday, Ronaldo upped his goal tally to 38 on the season, tying the record set by Athletic Bilbao's Telmo Zarra in 1951 and matched in 1990 by Real Madrid's Mexican striker Hugo Sanchez. Ronaldo also opened up a 14-point lead in the Gold...

Evan Longoria Didn't Really Make This Life-Saving Catch
If you're willing to believe this video is real, "Gillette Young Gun" Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays saved a lady reporter from getting her brains knocked out of her right ear, with four perfectly framed "Gillette" signs in the background. But you don't believe this video is real, do you? Goo...

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

A Walk-On Who Made the Team Wants You to Know What It Really Means
Alex Howell was the only freshman in the tunnel that Saturday, his chinstrap so tight it fused his jaw shut, 89,000 people packed into to the last row at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. Earlier in the week the graduate assistant… [Kotaku] ...

Wayne Rooney Decided To Send A Message With Chest Hair Today
After his side clinched a record 19th English Premier League title with 1-1 draw vs. the Blackburn Rovers, cheeky Manchester United star Wayne Rooney simply posted, "Champions http://yfrog.com/h2cjceij."...

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

Man U Manager Alex Ferguson Charged With Earnestly Complimenting A Referee
Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United who recently served a five-game suspension and paid a £30,000 fine for criticizing a referee after a 2-1 loss in March, has once again been charged with improper conduct for publicly speaking about a referee....

The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...

Convict Requested, Received Extra Prison Time As Larry Bird Tribute
Eric Torpy went down for armed robbery a few years back and was sentenced to 30 years in an Oklahoma prison. But if there's anything Torpy liked more than armed robbery, it's Larry Bird....

TV Is A Helluva Drug: On Jay Mariotti And The Sportspersona Machine
The tale of Jay Mariotti, as sad and vile as it may be on the surface, isn't entirely unique. During his interview with Fox's Jason Whitlock months ago, Mariotti played off the first set of allegations as an isolated moment of rage (he was trying to "help the person [his girlfriend]," he said), an...

<em>The New York Times</em> Provides The First Drug Smear Of The Baseball Season
"For the last few years," The New York Times writes in the Bartolo Colon story that we flagged earlier today, "baseball and other sports, while fighting to limit the use of performance-enhancing drugs, have been faced with a new and murky challenge: players getting sophisticated blood treatments, of...

Michael Vick's Dog Receives Key To The City
Back in February, when folks in Dallas were outraged that the city's Mayor Pro Tem had awarded Michael Vick with a key to the city that, he explained, was really "for the children," the Dallas Observer ran the headline that included the phrase, "As It Turns Out, Anybody Can Get a Key to the City of ...

Dwight Howard Went To Disney World Anyway
The Magic were upset by Atlanta in the first round, but Dwight Howard, the broadest-shouldered 13-year-old trapped in a 25-year-old's body on planet earth, would not let it ruin his trip to Disney World last weekend. Until, at least, a few days later, when he found the time to call out the Orlando S...