ti Page 1844 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Chief Simply Will Not Go Away
For all the excitement about next Tuesday's Rose Bowl game between our Illini and those suddenly hateable USC Trojans, it has one major downside: Everybody's talking about the damned Chief again....
Buy A Dirty Feller's Beard
The guy in this picture is not famed West F—-in' Virginia fan The Mighty MJD, though we wish it were. It's "bragg-mcdowell," and he's selling his beard on eBay....
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
Thanks To ESPN, It'll Be Our Merriest Christmas Ever
This Christmas why not give the card that says "Not only am I cheap, but I have no sense of humor."? It's Holiday Smack Cards from ESPN; which can be sent to friends and loved ones, and hilarity is sure to ensue. That is, if your idea of humor is a toilet flushing. I can just picture some folks at P...
Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...
Alex Legion Gets His Exodus After All
In our ongoing coverage of the dogmatic inevitability that Alex Legion will lead Kentucky to the Final Four, a tranquil atmosphere casts over the tumultuous world of college basketball....
Florida Atlantic Is Used To Sticking It To Tennessee Schools
Knowing that Howard Schnellenberger built Florida Atlantic's football program using nothing but MacGyver-approved ingredients in a seven-year span, last night's victory over Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl is an extremely uplifting story. They really came out of nowhere to steal the title of Best Up...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
Cultural Oddsmaker: III
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, the next two Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now THREE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him. Happy Fri...
No More Illini For Us For A While
We're not going to any more Illini sporting events; we're gonna need something to cheer us up....
The Yearly Night In The Champaign Snow
We arrived in the new generation coal plant capital of the world late last night — the mayor of Mattoon, charmingly, used to coach us in baseball — so our holiday season has already begun. And we kick it off with our yearly trip to Champaign for some Illini basketball....
Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...
Hey, Man, Get Off The Danged Roof!
After their loss to previously winless Miami on Sunday, Ravens fans need all the entertainment they can get. Fortunately, some beautiful idiot is refusing to get off the roof of a local bar until the Ravens win a game. That should go well....
It's Chris Farley Day
Stupid me; I wrote the tag "Todd has another heart attack" for About Last Night without even realizing that today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Chris Farley. Fortunately, 100 Percent Injury Rate was all over it, putting together a nice tribute post and a bunch of classic Farley clips. ...
ESPN's Featured Comment of the Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
Kelly Leak, Jim Duggan, Alice ... All Roiders!
I was planning on writing about the Andy Pettitte news here, but really, what is there to say? He took some human growth hormone five years ago to treat an injury and he “got caught.” Pettitte says it was the only time he tried it his career — at a time when HGH wasn’t illegal, no less — and well, I...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...