ti Page 1844 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....

Scientists: Barry Zito Is An Optical Illusion
Next time you whiff on a curveball, blame it on your brain. Visual scientists recently applied the functions of foveal and peripheral vision to baseball, proving the curveball's sudden and severe "break" is a trick of the eyes. The graphic will occupy you for hours. Plus, it's science. [Illusion Sci...

Winner Winner, Shake Shack Dinner
Getcher steak sandwiches, red-hot steak sandwiches! And sushi, creamy fried flounder, grilled shrimp po' boys, lobster rolls and clam chowder — all at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. Frank Bruni gives the culinary edge to Citi, partly because Steinbrenner and Co. offer Johnny Rockets instead of Shake...

'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...

College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...

Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...

Michael Jordan Loves Chicago Almost As Much As He Loves Nike
An animatronic Jordan doll donned a Blackhawks jersey at the United Center this weekend, to show his support for the "hometown" boys—but not before he had team officials sew a red patch over the Reebok logo. Nothing to see here, Mr. Knight! [Puck Daddy]...

One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...

Who Is Tiger's Turtle?
"The modern player's payroll invariably includes an agent, a caddie, a financial adviser and a swing instructor.... Agent Dennis Harrington predicts that gentlemen's gentlemen — valets — will be the next big thing." John Daly's not sold. [GolfWorld, Style Points]...

Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...

Hey, That's Not John Mayberry Sr.
John Mayberry Jr. hit his first career home run Saturday, and the Fox crew in Yankee Stadium quickly honed in on his father, former MLB player John Mayberry Sr. Only problem: It wasn't him. Ay, there's the rub. (Also, A-Rod homered and the Yankees won, spoiling the Mayberrys' day.) [Bats]...

Judge: No, You Can't Replace Volleyball With Cheerleaders
A federal judge has decreed that Quinnipiac can't just ax its women's volleyball team to trim the budget — especially when, you know, it wouldn't actually save money if the team is replaced by a new varsity cheerleading squad. Something about Title IX. Proceed with your day. [News-Times]...

Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....

The One With The Story About The NBA-TV Lady's High School Days
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

All Big East Baseball Games Now Decided By Dance Off
Connecticut and South Florida squared off in a classic Big East baseball tilt—or they tried to before a five-hour rain delay. So how do you kill time during the one thing more boring than Big East baseball? Simple: Worst community theater production of "West Side Story" ever....

Inside Edition Shocked To Find Drunk People At Baseball Game
In Milwaukee, of all places! "Fights break out inside the stadium, foul language can be heard in the stands, and there are obscene gestures everywhere," reports America's Newsmagazine. [Inside Edition]...

Cricket Player Sidelined Due To Violent Case Of The G-dubs
"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement."[GuardianUK]...