ti Page 2008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....

Blogdom's Best: Hating The Fighting Irish
Perhaps nothing says hatred like college athletics. We have witnessed the body painting, we have seen the flaming objects hurled onto the court. Yes, we have seen the pants waving from atop the flag pole. And today, we salute those pants. We believe that college athletics were invented to give stu...

The Curse Of Queen City
A beleaguered Cincinnati sports fan, still reeling from Carson Palmer's knee implosion and an ugly first-round playoff exit, implores us to feel his pain by reeling off the succession of brutal injuries to befall the Queen City at the worst possible times. Witness:...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Swanny
After months of hinting and posturing (we mean, testing the waters. Sorry), Steelers Hall of Fame wide receiver Lynn Swann made the big announcement last week — he's running for governor of Pennsylvania. Swann, a football commentator for ABC, hopes to earn the Republican Party endorsement for the ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 9 a.m. Wednesday Morning Quickie: I've been recently fired due to the fact that I've spent every weekday morning on the computer chatting with you guys. Any openings? • 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Is it possible to just change al...

Say It Ain't So, Chad
So you know, Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson — forever known as Our Hero around here — did not get in a fight with his coach Marvin Lewis at halftime of Sunday's loss to the Steelers. Who said he did, you ask?...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Rob Neyer: What are the chances of Johnny Damon getting back his security deposit? • 2 p.m. NFL Misery Index with Jim Caple: Or, as they call it in Cincinnati, "Football season." • 3 p.m. Men's Hoops w/ Fran Fraschilla:...

Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • So, just to recap, it's The Morning Quickie at 9 a.m.; Fantasy Focus at 10; and Women's College Hoops with Charlie Creme at 11. We love Internet porn as much as the next person, but this seems excessive. • Noon. Preview, Patriots at Br...

NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...

Steelers vs. Bengals - 4th Quarter
• James Farrior comes up with an interception of Jon Kitna. And it's not the interception itself that's ending this game, but the tidal wave of momentum that appears to be on the Steelers side....

Steelers vs. Bengals - 3rd Quarter
• Bonnie Bernstein lets us know that Carson Palmer has a torn ACL, and the Bengals hope he'll be ready for training camp next year. Ouch. What a very Bengal thing to happen. You have my sympathy, Bengals fans....

Steelers vs. Bengals - 2nd Quarter
• The Steelers answer and grab a little bit of the momentum back with a touchdown via a Ben Roethlisberger to Willie Parker screen pass. 10-7 Bengals....

Steelers vs. Bengals - 1st Quarter
• Chad Johnson spent his time before the game hanging out in the parking lot with Bengals tailgaters. Hopefully, he's sober....

Illinois Joins The Ranks Of The Defeated
That nasty Iowa defense spent the day sweating Dee Brown into a 2-of-14 performance from field, holding him to just six points and polishing off a 63-48 Iowa victory....

That Odd High School Football Game
This is perhaps the weirdest sporting event of the year, and that includes any 4 a.m. log-rolling competitions that you might catch on ESPN2....

Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...

Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....

Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA with Chris Sheridan: Your beat has kept you indoors for quite some time, eh pasty-boy? There's a whole world out there with birds and kites and squirrels and stuff. We'd start off with a high-powered sunblock, though. • 2 p.m...