ump Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How America's Largest Local TV Owner Turned Its News Anchors Into Soldiers In Trump's War On The Media
Earlier this month, CNN’s Brian Stelter broke the news that Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner or operator of nearly 200 television stations in the U.S., would be forcing its news anchors to record a promo about “the troubling trend of irresponsible, one sided news stories plaguing our country.” The sc...
Tom Hallion Puts On A Ridiculous Spring Ump Show With Five Silly Ejections
Spring training is long. By this point, just about everyone is tired of it. Umpire Tom Hallion was apparently especially tired of it Thursday. Hallion ejected five guys—in three separate incidents, none of them particularly meaningful—in yesterday’s Tigers-Phillies game....
Terry Funk Scouts The Budding Brawl Between “Two Assholes” Trump And Biden
So Donald Trump and Joe Biden are cutting promos again....
Confederate Army No Longer The Only Thing Ole Miss Glorifies After Coach Vows To Respect American Flag And National Anthem
Kermit Davis, the new head coach of a college basketball team with a mascot named after confederate secessionists who wanted to destroy the union of American states, has vowed his team will respect the flag and the national anthem of the United States of America....
The Crappy, Grumpy Suns Took Two Cheap Shots At Ricky Rubio
One thing about being on an NBA team that’s rounding into the home stretch of a miserable tanking campaign is that it can make you cranky as hell. As evidence, please see the shenanigans the Suns got into with the Jazz last night....
Report: UConn Trick-Shot QB-Turned-Trump Valet Was Fired For Gambling Habit
Johnny McEntee—who first got our attention with his sweet tricks as a backup quarterback at UConn back in 2011 and more recently took the job of personal assistant to President Donald Trump—was reportedly fired from his White House gig because of a gambling problem....
Where Is Donald Trump Even Getting This Shit?
There is the version of Donald Trump that everyone gets served, and it is an extremely luxurious experience—a thick and luridly salty braise of all-beef bombast served smothered in a chunky and flavorless dressing that looks like ranch but tastes like vinegar and forgetfulness. It is fatty and extre...
Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
UConn Trick-Shot QB-Turned-Trump Valet Fired Due To Homeland Security Investigation
Remember Johnny McEntee? We featured him in these pages seven-some years ago, as the UConn quarterback displayed some incredible sleight of hand in a trick-shot compilation video. Johnny later dropped the diminutive and became John McEntee, Donald Trump body man, except now he’s not even that anymor...
Jose Altuve's Day At The White House Looked Pretty Awkward
The Houston Astros visited the White House today to be honored for their 2017 World Series win, which puts reasonable-minded players in a bit of a pickle. The traditional post-championship White House visit is a potentially once-in-a-lifetime honor. Having to tolerate Donald Trump in the flesh and b...
President Trump Graciously Accepts Credit For Saving The Winter Olympics
Those anxious weeks and months leading up to the Pyeongchang Olympics seem so long ago, now. With the games themselves just recently in the past, it’s easy to forget the questions that so defined those days. In bars and around water coolers, out loud to friends and family and in an echoing loop in o...
Report: Donald Trump Didn't Actually Do Anything To Free UCLA Players Detained In China
Remember when Donald Trump made a big stink about he personally liberated three UCLA basketball players who were arrested for shoplifting in China? According to a new report from ESPN, Trump didn’t actually do shit....
None Can Defeat The Mighty Wizards
The brave Milwaukee Bucks tried their best. After falling behind the invincible Washington Wizards by 21 points in the first quarter of last night’s game, the deer men scraped and clawed nearly all the way back, drawing the deficit down to a single point five times in the fourth quarter. Alas, each ...
America's World Cup Hosting Bid Might Fail Because Everyone Hates Donald Trump
In a blessed confluence of somewhat unexpected events, Donald Trump’s presidency has thus far avoided bringing permanent ruin to the country and the world. The sheer odiousness of his status as president of the U.S. does, however, appear at risk of ruining this country’s shot at hosting the 2026 Wor...
Look At This Stupid Baby<em></em>
Here we have President Diaper, a fussy young infant who rarely sleeps through the night uninterrupted—and is known to be quite a handful during the daytime as well!—forced to listen for an agonizing 58 seconds as the governor of Washington state explains why arming teachers is a bad idea....
Report: With No White House Invite, Warriors Will Use D.C. Trip To Spend Day With Local Kids Instead
The Warriors won’t be spending any of their upcoming time in D.C. with President Donald Trump, so they’ll reportedly be spending some time on “a private tour of an undisclosed locale” with local children instead....
President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....
I Think I Could Ski Jump<em></em>
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking Olympic boning, poopy undies, phone tag, and more. ...