ump Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Christian Pulisic Rings In The New Year With A Powerful And Absolutely Legit Slam Dunk
Christian Pulisic—the wonderteen, the nation’s best and most favored soccer man, an elite athlete blessed with speed and agility and hops we don’t normally associate with slight, diminutive whiteboys—had himself a (mostly) great 2017. To commemorate his metaphorical ascent to the heights of the spor...
Vince McMahon Has Been Working Towards A GOP-Oriented Product For Years
While a pro-Trump political slant for the soon to be relaunched XFL is nowhere close to official yet, history tells us that Vince McMahon making a move in that direction would not exactly be very surprising. The WWE chief’s products have blatantly pushed right wing politics for years, and while ever...
Big Fucking Shock: The GOP Tax Bill Won't End Stadium Subsidies
For a while there, the Republican tax bill contained a provision that would be difficult to describe as a “silver lining,” given how comprehensively destructive the rest of the bill is, but could reasonably have been described as “not bad.” The provision was set to prevent cities from using tax-exem...
Timing Of Trademarks Suggests "New XFL" May Be A Response To NFL Protests
On Friday afternoon, I received a particularly surprising DM from someone whose information is normally solid, if not always reportable. The DM said that Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL, with a press conference announcing the move on Jan. 25. The scuttlebutt was that not only had ESPN’s 30 fo...
Luc Robitaille's Wife, Stacia, Shares A Story Of Donald Trump Being An Aggressive Creep
There’s no shortage of stories about President Donald Trump being a gross, aggressive perv, and Stacia Robitaille shared another on Twitter last night:...
MLB Umpire Dale Scott Retires After Series Of Concussions
Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects....
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke Is Mad Because <i>Outside Magazine</i> Pointed Out He's A Fly Fishing Novice
One of the stupidest plans that the extremely stupid Trump administration is currently carrying out is a dramatic shrinking of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah. Trump recently announced that he would cut the size of Bears Ears by 85 percent and halved the size of the Grand Staircase-Escalante Na...
Lindsey Vonn: "I Hope To Represent The People Of The United States, Not The President"<em></em>
American skier Lindsey Vonn, who’s returning to the Olympics next year for the first time since 2010, says that she wouldn’t accept an invitation to the White House after the 2018 Games in Pyeongchang if she were invited. In an interview with CNN, Vonn said that she wants to “represent the people o...
Donald Trump's Weird Teeth Create The Worst Possible Combination Of Images And Sounds
It’s rude of me to do this, but I’m going to ask that you both watch and listen to this clip of Donald Trump giving a speech today, in which our wet, slurring load of a president seems to be struggling to keep his own teeth in his mouth:...
Tiger Woods's Trump National Tune Up Was Apparently A Smashing Success
Tiger Woods played in a foursome Saturday at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida, with current world number one Dustin Johnson, idiot President Donald Trump, and Brad Faxon, a PGA Tour Champions player and Fox Sports golf analyst. These casual rounds have taken on real meaning as Tiger gear...
My Fellow Americans, I Regret To Inform You That Our Idiot President Is Being Owned Again
Yes, our dingus mingus of a President said something dumb and wrong, and once again he is being owned online for it. This time, in an effort to protect his image from the indignity of, umm, not being on the cover of one specific issue of one specific magazine, he made some shit up about “actually, I...
Report: NFL May Go Back To Keeping Players In Locker Room During Anthem
NFL owners might have decided last month not to make any changes to the league’s national anthem policy, which meant there would be no punishments for players who are using the anthem as a platform to protest racial inequality. But that doesn’t mean things won’t be changing next year....
The American Experiment Has Failed
CNN anchor Chris Cuomo lectured LaVar Ball about gratitude tonight, following President Donald Trump’s whiny rant this weekend about how he should have left Ball’s son LiAngelo in a Chinese jail with two other UCLA basketball players because he doesn’t feel that LaVar has been thankful enough....
Trump Tweets About Marshawn Lynch Sitting For The Anthem; I Can't Believe We're Still Doing This
I’m so, so sick of this, but if I have to deal with it I’m gonna make you deal with it too:...
Donald Trump Wishes He'd Left UCLA Teens In Chinese Prison Because His Feelings Are Hurt
You knew this was coming. Just as sure as you were that President Trump would take credit for three shoplifting dipshits not being condemned to prison, you had to know he would express resentment over LaVar Ball downplaying the role Trump played in expediting the return of three UCLA freshman to fre...
LaVar Ball Burns President Trump For Supposed Intervention In China
LiAngelo Ball and two other UCLA freshmen shoplifted some expensive sunglasses while in Hangzhou, and were arrested for it. From the looks of things, the Chinese government elected not to take the dipshit theft of a few dipshit college athletes very seriously, and so the young dipshit perpetrators w...
Donald Trump Jr. Is Good At Weightlifting And Should Lift Even More
Over the weekend, first child and fitness guru Donald Trump Jr. posted a video of himself deadlifting 375 pounds in his socks....
The Eight Truths I Learned From Humping Athletes
This piece originally appeared in the April 1995 issue of GQ. It is reprinted here with permission....
LiAngelo Ball And Fellow UCLA Shoplifters Are Coming Home
After just under a week of speculation of how the legal process would play out for a trio of UCLA freshmen caught shoplifting in China, LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley, and Jalen Hill are on their way back to America. The group was released by Chinese police following their detainment for nabbing Louis Vu...