ump Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"
Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more imp...
Umpire Jerry Meals Is Small, Most Baseball Men Are Large: Physical Comedy Ensues
Umpire Jerry Meals is five feet eight inches tall. This is a perfectly respectable height, and one that has not kept him from achieving what we can presume was his lifelong dream of being a Major League umpire. Jerry Meals has made it. ...
<i>White Men Can't Jump</i> Is A Lot Of Fun Masking What Appears To Be A Pretty Debilitating Gambling Addiction
If there’s a moral to be gleaned from White Men Can’t Jump, it’s that that if someone carrying many hundreds of dollars in cash—without a wallet in sight—challenges you to an expensive bet, it’s probably because they know something you don’t. I realize people relied on paper money more back in the ’...
Who Does This Alleged Trump Goon Remind You Of?
Lawyers for Stormy Daniels released a sketched drawing of a man that Daniels says threatened her in a parking lot in 2011 after her alleged affair with Donald Trump. The goon is described as being a handsome fellow between 5-foot-9 and 6-foot, with a “lean but fit” profile....
Please Enjoy 84 Seconds Of The <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Broadcast Team Losing Their Shit
The old institutions slouch and rot and tip towards collapse; the culture turns inward, agoraphobic and sleepless and helplessly in thrall to rancid idle fantasies of violence or narcotic visions of capitulation and release; the people in charge loot and lie and then go blank and soft before the ima...
Pro-Trump Spurs Fans Willingly Show Their Asses, Complain About Gregg Popovich's Politics
The Washington Post today published a Cletus safari of Donald Trump supporters, but with a twist—these people are also fans of the San Antonio Spurs, whose coach, Gregg Popovich, isn’t shy about giving his liberal takes to the press. Popovich’s criticism of the president—and not the fact that the se...
President Of The United States, Weirdly: "Roll Tide"
It’s hard to believe, but it’s true—Donald Trump has only been President of the United States for 13 years. The time has gone by so quickly, one day screaming incoherently into the next over and over and faster and faster, and yet it has also somehow been the same endless shitty/terrifying Tuesday f...
Benches Clear In Diamondbacks-Cardinals When Yadier Molina Goes After Opposing Manager
A balls-and-strikes argument between Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo and home plate umpire Tim Timmons went in an unexpected direction this afternoon, when Lovullo apparently said something to Timmons that pissed off Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina:...
Anthony Rendon Lays Into Umpire Marty Foster For Erratic Strike Zone And Quick Temper
Marty Foster’s ejection of Anthony Rendon Saturday was puzzling enough that it immediately overshadowed the circumstances of the pitch that caused the conflict. Let’s get to that: it looked inside to Rendon; it looked inside on the broadcast; it, in fact, was inside—Foster’s strike zone was a little...
Angry Baby Umpire Ejects Anthony Rendon For Absolutely Nothing
Anthony Rendon had never been ejected from a game in the majors headed into Saturday’s home game against the Mets. That streak—640 regular season games—came to an end in the bottom of the third inning, after Rendon struck out looking to end the inning, and was blatantly disrespectful to umpire Marty...
Windswept Honey Bun Boards Presidential Aircraft
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-base...
Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...
How America's Largest Local TV Owner Turned Its News Anchors Into Soldiers In Trump's War On The Media
Earlier this month, CNN’s Brian Stelter broke the news that Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner or operator of nearly 200 television stations in the U.S., would be forcing its news anchors to record a promo about “the troubling trend of irresponsible, one sided news stories plaguing our country.” The sc...
Tom Hallion Puts On A Ridiculous Spring Ump Show With Five Silly Ejections
Spring training is long. By this point, just about everyone is tired of it. Umpire Tom Hallion was apparently especially tired of it Thursday. Hallion ejected five guys—in three separate incidents, none of them particularly meaningful—in yesterday’s Tigers-Phillies game....
Terry Funk Scouts The Budding Brawl Between “Two Assholes” Trump And Biden
So Donald Trump and Joe Biden are cutting promos again....
Confederate Army No Longer The Only Thing Ole Miss Glorifies After Coach Vows To Respect American Flag And National Anthem
Kermit Davis, the new head coach of a college basketball team with a mascot named after confederate secessionists who wanted to destroy the union of American states, has vowed his team will respect the flag and the national anthem of the United States of America....
The Crappy, Grumpy Suns Took Two Cheap Shots At Ricky Rubio
One thing about being on an NBA team that’s rounding into the home stretch of a miserable tanking campaign is that it can make you cranky as hell. As evidence, please see the shenanigans the Suns got into with the Jazz last night....
Report: UConn Trick-Shot QB-Turned-Trump Valet Was Fired For Gambling Habit
Johnny McEntee—who first got our attention with his sweet tricks as a backup quarterback at UConn back in 2011 and more recently took the job of personal assistant to President Donald Trump—was reportedly fired from his White House gig because of a gambling problem....
Where Is Donald Trump Even Getting This Shit?
There is the version of Donald Trump that everyone gets served, and it is an extremely luxurious experience—a thick and luridly salty braise of all-beef bombast served smothered in a chunky and flavorless dressing that looks like ranch but tastes like vinegar and forgetfulness. It is fatty and extre...