ump Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....
UConn Trick-Shot QB-Turned-Trump Valet Fired Due To Homeland Security Investigation
Remember Johnny McEntee? We featured him in these pages seven-some years ago, as the UConn quarterback displayed some incredible sleight of hand in a trick-shot compilation video. Johnny later dropped the diminutive and became John McEntee, Donald Trump body man, except now he’s not even that anymor...
Jose Altuve's Day At The White House Looked Pretty Awkward
The Houston Astros visited the White House today to be honored for their 2017 World Series win, which puts reasonable-minded players in a bit of a pickle. The traditional post-championship White House visit is a potentially once-in-a-lifetime honor. Having to tolerate Donald Trump in the flesh and b...
President Trump Graciously Accepts Credit For Saving The Winter Olympics
Those anxious weeks and months leading up to the Pyeongchang Olympics seem so long ago, now. With the games themselves just recently in the past, it’s easy to forget the questions that so defined those days. In bars and around water coolers, out loud to friends and family and in an echoing loop in o...
Report: Donald Trump Didn't Actually Do Anything To Free UCLA Players Detained In China
Remember when Donald Trump made a big stink about he personally liberated three UCLA basketball players who were arrested for shoplifting in China? According to a new report from ESPN, Trump didn’t actually do shit....
None Can Defeat The Mighty Wizards
The brave Milwaukee Bucks tried their best. After falling behind the invincible Washington Wizards by 21 points in the first quarter of last night’s game, the deer men scraped and clawed nearly all the way back, drawing the deficit down to a single point five times in the fourth quarter. Alas, each ...
America's World Cup Hosting Bid Might Fail Because Everyone Hates Donald Trump
In a blessed confluence of somewhat unexpected events, Donald Trump’s presidency has thus far avoided bringing permanent ruin to the country and the world. The sheer odiousness of his status as president of the U.S. does, however, appear at risk of ruining this country’s shot at hosting the 2026 Wor...
Look At This Stupid Baby<em></em>
Here we have President Diaper, a fussy young infant who rarely sleeps through the night uninterrupted—and is known to be quite a handful during the daytime as well!—forced to listen for an agonizing 58 seconds as the governor of Washington state explains why arming teachers is a bad idea....
Report: With No White House Invite, Warriors Will Use D.C. Trip To Spend Day With Local Kids Instead
The Warriors won’t be spending any of their upcoming time in D.C. with President Donald Trump, so they’ll reportedly be spending some time on “a private tour of an undisclosed locale” with local children instead....
President Of The United States: Call The Cops On Troubled Kids More
This fucking deadbeat. This chickenshit moral dwarf. This cheap-shit dime-store fucking fraud....
I Think I Could Ski Jump<em></em>
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking Olympic boning, poopy undies, phone tag, and more. ...
The Cavs Are Getting Pretty Much Everyone The Fuck Out Of Here<em></em>
Not only have the Cavaliers given Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye the boot today, but they’re now trading four more players. (Yes, “the Cavaliers” can reasonably be interpreted as “LeBron James.”) Adios to Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, and Dwyane Wade. There goes a third of the roster....
Donald Trump's Super Bowl Shindig Was So Weird
One of the many odd sidebars to the Trump presidency has been seeing what happens when an unsocialized puff pastry who has lived his entire life in an environment custom-built to nurture his weirdest impulses is suddenly asked to do the sort of ceremonial normal things presidents are supposed to do....
LPGAer And Frequent Trump Golf Partner: "He Cheats Like Hell"
Suzann Pettersen, with 15 LPGA Tour wins to her name, is also a good friend of Donald Trump. Has been for a decade. So when she talks about him being an inveterate cheater at golf, understand that she’s painting just about the most sympathetic picture possible of his game....
Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....
Of Course Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Cameo In Stormy Daniels's Donald Trump Story
If there’s one thing you can be sure of in this world, it’s that all the most awful people in it tend to gravitate towards each other. So even though it’s weird, it’s not necessarily surprising that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets name-checked in Stormy Daniels’s story about humping Don...
Donald Trump Is 6-Foot-3, 239 Pounds, So Basically He's Albert Pujols<em></em>
Our ovoid president took his first physical exam this morning, and you will not be surprised to learn that the natural athlete is in “excellent health.” Though his arteries may be as grease-occluded as any gout-afflicted Tudor monarch, and while he sleeps just four or five hours a night, the preside...
Atlanta Falcons Somehow Lose To Nick Foles<em></em>
In the month since losing starting quarterback and MVP candidate Carson Wentz, the Philadelphia Eagles have played a skittish backup at quarterback behind a spotty offensive line, at the exact time that their highly ranked defense began collapsing. The franchise hadn’t won a playoff game since 2009,...
Maryland Attorney General: Wisconsin's Stay In A Trump Hotel Might Violate Constitution
In July of last year, the District of Columbia and the state of Maryland together sued President Donald Trump for violating anti-corruption clauses in the Constitution. By maintaining ownership of his businesses during his presidency, the lawsuit said, states and foreign countries could gain sway ov...