ump Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Cavs Are Getting Pretty Much Everyone The Fuck Out Of Here<em></em>
Not only have the Cavaliers given Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye the boot today, but they’re now trading four more players. (Yes, “the Cavaliers” can reasonably be interpreted as “LeBron James.”) Adios to Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, and Dwyane Wade. There goes a third of the roster....
Donald Trump's Super Bowl Shindig Was So Weird
One of the many odd sidebars to the Trump presidency has been seeing what happens when an unsocialized puff pastry who has lived his entire life in an environment custom-built to nurture his weirdest impulses is suddenly asked to do the sort of ceremonial normal things presidents are supposed to do....
LPGAer And Frequent Trump Golf Partner: "He Cheats Like Hell"
Suzann Pettersen, with 15 LPGA Tour wins to her name, is also a good friend of Donald Trump. Has been for a decade. So when she talks about him being an inveterate cheater at golf, understand that she’s painting just about the most sympathetic picture possible of his game....
Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....
Of Course Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Cameo In Stormy Daniels's Donald Trump Story
If there’s one thing you can be sure of in this world, it’s that all the most awful people in it tend to gravitate towards each other. So even though it’s weird, it’s not necessarily surprising that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets name-checked in Stormy Daniels’s story about humping Don...
Donald Trump Is 6-Foot-3, 239 Pounds, So Basically He's Albert Pujols<em></em>
Our ovoid president took his first physical exam this morning, and you will not be surprised to learn that the natural athlete is in “excellent health.” Though his arteries may be as grease-occluded as any gout-afflicted Tudor monarch, and while he sleeps just four or five hours a night, the preside...
Atlanta Falcons Somehow Lose To Nick Foles<em></em>
In the month since losing starting quarterback and MVP candidate Carson Wentz, the Philadelphia Eagles have played a skittish backup at quarterback behind a spotty offensive line, at the exact time that their highly ranked defense began collapsing. The franchise hadn’t won a playoff game since 2009,...
Maryland Attorney General: Wisconsin's Stay In A Trump Hotel Might Violate Constitution
In July of last year, the District of Columbia and the state of Maryland together sued President Donald Trump for violating anti-corruption clauses in the Constitution. By maintaining ownership of his businesses during his presidency, the lawsuit said, states and foreign countries could gain sway ov...
Help Us Figure Out What Donald Trump And Arthur Blank Are Talking About
If you happened to choose the ESPN “Cool Room” feed of last night’s national championship game—among your 19 other choices—you may have noticed the hosts dancing around discussing a conversation taking place between Donald Trump and Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank. That video wasn’t aired on the ...
What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...
Cowardly President Diaper Donald Reportedly Won't Do ESPN Interview At National Championship Game. Sad!
If you have been paying literally any attention to the news over the last day or the last week or really the last many years, you are well aware that Donald Trump is profoundly stupid and/or mentally ill and/or suffering from (not even early-onset, but just regular-old-onset, he’s 71 years old) deme...
What Did Katie Nolan Call Donald Trump?
Katie Nolan went on Viceland’s Desus & Mero earlier this week, offering some thoughts on her new gig at ESPN and Donald Trump. Here’s a brief clip of her discussing the latter, with the first phrase that she uses to describe the president bleeped out by the show:...
Christian Pulisic Rings In The New Year With A Powerful And Absolutely Legit Slam Dunk
Christian Pulisic—the wonderteen, the nation’s best and most favored soccer man, an elite athlete blessed with speed and agility and hops we don’t normally associate with slight, diminutive whiteboys—had himself a (mostly) great 2017. To commemorate his metaphorical ascent to the heights of the spor...
Vince McMahon Has Been Working Towards A GOP-Oriented Product For Years
While a pro-Trump political slant for the soon to be relaunched XFL is nowhere close to official yet, history tells us that Vince McMahon making a move in that direction would not exactly be very surprising. The WWE chief’s products have blatantly pushed right wing politics for years, and while ever...
Big Fucking Shock: The GOP Tax Bill Won't End Stadium Subsidies
For a while there, the Republican tax bill contained a provision that would be difficult to describe as a “silver lining,” given how comprehensively destructive the rest of the bill is, but could reasonably have been described as “not bad.” The provision was set to prevent cities from using tax-exem...
Timing Of Trademarks Suggests "New XFL" May Be A Response To NFL Protests
On Friday afternoon, I received a particularly surprising DM from someone whose information is normally solid, if not always reportable. The DM said that Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL, with a press conference announcing the move on Jan. 25. The scuttlebutt was that not only had ESPN’s 30 fo...
Luc Robitaille's Wife, Stacia, Shares A Story Of Donald Trump Being An Aggressive Creep
There’s no shortage of stories about President Donald Trump being a gross, aggressive perv, and Stacia Robitaille shared another on Twitter last night:...
MLB Umpire Dale Scott Retires After Series Of Concussions
Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects....
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke Is Mad Because <i>Outside Magazine</i> Pointed Out He's A Fly Fishing Novice
One of the stupidest plans that the extremely stupid Trump administration is currently carrying out is a dramatic shrinking of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah. Trump recently announced that he would cut the size of Bears Ears by 85 percent and halved the size of the Grand Staircase-Escalante Na...
Lindsey Vonn: "I Hope To Represent The People Of The United States, Not The President"<em></em>
American skier Lindsey Vonn, who’s returning to the Olympics next year for the first time since 2010, says that she wouldn’t accept an invitation to the White House after the 2018 Games in Pyeongchang if she were invited. In an interview with CNN, Vonn said that she wants to “represent the people o...