ump Page 66 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reporting Is Ugly
I spent one Christmas knocking on the doors of the parents of murdered children. The families were gathered around the trees in their living rooms, sobbing loudly or sitting quietly in shock. I asked grieving mothers to describe their dead boys. What were they like? What will you miss most about the...
19 Oktoberfest Beers, Ranked
America’s biggest BeerCon went down in Colorado over the weekend, and Drunkspin’s Rocky Mountain correspondent will be along later in the week to tell you all about it. I couldn’t make it to the Great American Beer Festival myself, as it did not take place in the park across the street from my apart...
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Entire Umpiring Crew Forgets What The Count Is
Home plate umpire Ted Barrett lost track of the count on Astros outfielder Preston Tucker as he faced Angels pitcher Nick Tropeano in the second inning of today’s game. Tucker had a full count, but after Tropeano threw ball four, nothing happened. Houston manager A.J. Hinch had to challenge the play...
Donald Trump: Joe Flacco Is Elite
Pestilent clownfister Donald Trump did a video Q&A today, and two of the 12 questions he answered were about the NFL. The first and most important was on the eliteness of one Joe Flacco:...
Lance Lynn Sucks, Is Unreasonably Angry About It
Cardinals pitcher Lance Lynn lasted 3.1 innings in today’s start against the Cubs, giving up four hits, six walks, and three earned runs before being replaced by Tyler Lyons. Lynn threw 46 strikes in 83 pitches, and decided home plate umpire Dan Bellino shared part of the blame for his poor outing....
Welcome To Deadspin's Republican Debate Liveblog
Tonight’s Republican presidential debate takes place at the Ronald Reagan Library, where the top 11 candidates will discuss foreign policy, domestic issues, and probably Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teenager who was arrested for bringing his homemade clock to school earlier this week. Loony-toon Donald...
Tom Brady Says It "Would Be Great" If Donald Trump Becomes President
Tom Brady has had a Donald Trump hat in his locker for about a week now, sitting there on that shelf like a wearable fart. Someone in today’s media scrum asked Brady about the hat ahead of tonight’s GOP debate, leading the Patriots quarterback to toss around the idea of President Donald Trump....
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Mexican TV Station Uses Donald Trump To Troll USMNT
The USMNT and Mexico are all set to square off next month in a crucial, one-off playoff for admission into the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia. One Mexican TV station has pretty ingeniously cut up bits from a Donald Trump speech to predict America’s downfall. Here’s the TV spot:...
"Iman" Is A Fine Name For Iman Shumpert's Daughter
Iman Shumpert and singer Teyana Taylor are having a baby. The Cleveland Cavalier posted the sonogram on his Instagram, and announced plans to name the girl Iman Shumpert Jr. Relax. It’s not a big deal....
Drake And Serena Williams Enjoy Themselves And Each Other At Fancy Cincinnati Restaurant
The Yelp page of Cincinnati Italian trattoria Sotto boasts that it’s a restaurant for “casual intimacy and communal romance,” so it makes sense that Drake and Serena Williams were spotted at a table essentially fucking with their clothes on....
John Harbaugh Thinks Donald Trump Has Some Good Ideas On Immigration
Ravens coach John Harbaugh was having a normal, boring press conference after Saturday’s practice. He talked about the team, about its first preseason game. He got on the subject of NFL officials, and how he thinks it’s a shame that they don’t work training camps to get ready for the season. And the...
Mumps Got Neymar's Face Looking Crazy
Hold tight, Ney. You’ll be back to your bonable best in no time....
Remember When Steve Austin Hit Donald Trump With The Stone Cold Stunner?
With GOP frontrunner Donald Trump earning his way into daily headlines—often in the grossest way possible—it’s worth remembering The Donald’s long affiliation with professional wrestling. Trump played host to some early Wrestlemania events, and famously “bought” WWE Raw, only to sell it back the nex...
Stop Pretending Donald Trump Is Running For President
Tonight, hot pork balloon Donald Trump will participate in a televised debate with nine Republican presidential candidates. He is pretending to campaign for president, and the political press has agreed to pretend to believe him for a little while. It’s cynical and farcical and boring and stupid and...