ump Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tom Brady Says It "Would Be Great" If Donald Trump Becomes President
Tom Brady has had a Donald Trump hat in his locker for about a week now, sitting there on that shelf like a wearable fart. Someone in today’s media scrum asked Brady about the hat ahead of tonight’s GOP debate, leading the Patriots quarterback to toss around the idea of President Donald Trump....
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Mexican TV Station Uses Donald Trump To Troll USMNT
The USMNT and Mexico are all set to square off next month in a crucial, one-off playoff for admission into the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia. One Mexican TV station has pretty ingeniously cut up bits from a Donald Trump speech to predict America’s downfall. Here’s the TV spot:...
"Iman" Is A Fine Name For Iman Shumpert's Daughter
Iman Shumpert and singer Teyana Taylor are having a baby. The Cleveland Cavalier posted the sonogram on his Instagram, and announced plans to name the girl Iman Shumpert Jr. Relax. It’s not a big deal....
Drake And Serena Williams Enjoy Themselves And Each Other At Fancy Cincinnati Restaurant
The Yelp page of Cincinnati Italian trattoria Sotto boasts that it’s a restaurant for “casual intimacy and communal romance,” so it makes sense that Drake and Serena Williams were spotted at a table essentially fucking with their clothes on....
John Harbaugh Thinks Donald Trump Has Some Good Ideas On Immigration
Ravens coach John Harbaugh was having a normal, boring press conference after Saturday’s practice. He talked about the team, about its first preseason game. He got on the subject of NFL officials, and how he thinks it’s a shame that they don’t work training camps to get ready for the season. And the...
Mumps Got Neymar's Face Looking Crazy
Hold tight, Ney. You’ll be back to your bonable best in no time....
Remember When Steve Austin Hit Donald Trump With The Stone Cold Stunner?
With GOP frontrunner Donald Trump earning his way into daily headlines—often in the grossest way possible—it’s worth remembering The Donald’s long affiliation with professional wrestling. Trump played host to some early Wrestlemania events, and famously “bought” WWE Raw, only to sell it back the nex...
Stop Pretending Donald Trump Is Running For President
Tonight, hot pork balloon Donald Trump will participate in a televised debate with nine Republican presidential candidates. He is pretending to campaign for president, and the political press has agreed to pretend to believe him for a little while. It’s cynical and farcical and boring and stupid and...
Phil Jackson Has No Problem Dumping On Ex-Knicks
Do you wish you were a fly on the wall of the New York Knicks’ basura 2014-15 season? Of course not, but Charley Rosen was, and he’s filing dispatches to ESPN from the one day each month he spent with Phil Jackson during the course of it. He’s now up to January 10, four days after the Knicks traded ...
Chance The Rapper Was A Delightful Guest On a Chicago Morning Show
Last week, Chance the Rapper took some Chicago kids on a surprise field trip. Today, he went on Windy City Live, a Chicago morning show, and he was an absolute delight. ...
Blind Umpire Calls Obvious Swinging Strike A Foul Tip
Blind umpire Paul Emmel blew what should have been the final pitch of the Padres’ eighth tonight when he declared the above play to be a foul tip off Derek Norris’s bat. Pirates pitcher A.J. Burnett was, as you might imagine, unhappy....
It's Time To Take Channing Tatum Seriously
In the last few years, I’ve noticed a funny trend. My friends and I will be talking affectionately about Channing Tatum’s movies—usually, the Jump Street films—and the other person will suddenly get quiet, like he’s about to make some dark, embarrassing confession to me. “You know, what?” he’ll inva...
Mike Napoli Says He Was Ejected For Not Picking Up His Bat
Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli has had a terrible season, hitting just .203 with 10 home runs and 70 strikeouts. It’s the kind of season that can lead to angry outbursts after fairly unremarkable strikeouts in the second inning:...
Angry Umpire Demands That Jon Lester Fight Him
Yesterday’s game between the Dodgers and Cubs was delayed for several minutes when home plate umpire Andy Fletcher decided to go full Ump Show in the second inning, stalking Cubs starter Jon Lester back to the mound in order to establish his authority or whatever....