v Page 3100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....

Whining Time: Reggie Miller, The Knicks, And The Prayer Of The Bitchy Girl
A review of ESPN's Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, from a woman who once took a photo with John Starks and keeps it at her desk, and now co-workers think they're married....

Tom Izzo, Steve Mariucci: Young Lovers
These two handsome sonuvabitches knew they had something special: "Said Mariucci: "I swear to God, yes. People thought we were a little bit too close."[DetroitNews via Guyism]...

Play the Best Bracket this March
Play the SoBe Lifewater™ Zero Inhibitions Bracket Challenge and you could win up to $10,000,000. You could even win a chance to ball with former NBA point guard and current TNT basketball analyst, Kenny "The Jet" Smith....

Atlanta Braves: The Man Who Wasn't There
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Atlanta Braves....

Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....

Maria Sharapova Or Nicole Vaidisova Would Like To Help You With Your Small Penis
Copyranter found another "penis embiggening" web ad that (without her permission, most likely) uses the other blondtennis star RussianCzech tennis player to sell its magic girth pills. [Update: Fixed.][Copyranter]...

Extinct Michigan Wolverine A Metaphor For Something, Probably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

Today In Ridiculous High School Dunks
On his way to leading Springfield Hillcrest to the Missouri state championship, Trey Starks took some time to jump over a much taller opponent for a vicious dunk. It's a recurring thing for him. H/t David K. for the video....

New York Yankees: The Truth Of The True Yankee
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: New York Yankees....

David Beckham Tears Achilles, Will Miss Opportunity To Vomit On The Field In Another World Cup
Beckham snapped his left achilles and will not get a chance to sit on England's bench in South Africa. Stiff upper lip, though: "The romantic notion of him seizing the day and inspiring England to glory was poppycock." [Guardian]...

Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal Lobe
This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place....

Erin Andrews and Dick Vitale Cut A Rug
EA is going to be doing it with the stars, and Dickie V is getting psyched for the Big one. So why not share a dance before yesterday's Duke/Miami game?...

Embrace Bracket Madness
Play the SoBe Lifewater™ Zero Inhibitions Bracket Challenge and you could win up to $10,000,000. And there's more —you could also meet Brooklyn Decker, Jerry Rice, Kenny Smith or Kendra (yes, that one)....

Terrible Call Gets Ovechkin Ejected
So let's see: Brian Campbell was 10 feet from the boards, and got hit from the side rather than behind. Still, game misconduct for Alexander Ovechkin. That's what happens when you've got a history of cheap shots....

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Minnesota HS Hockey Player Wipes Out On TV, Guarantees Himself Brief Viral Infamy
Here's poor Zach Van Orsdel, an Alexandria defenseman playing in the Minnesota state championship, introducing himself to the television audience by doing the sort of thing that makes us all glad we're no longer in high school. [Puck Daddy]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Calling All Models Who Bartend: Ryan Braun Would Like To Hire You STAT
The Brewers' left fielder also has entrepreneurial moxie: First, it was his stunning Ream Tee fashion line; now it's his new restaurant which is looking for "models that are bartenders" to fill his "starting line up." 275 fist explosions. [B&C]...