v Page 3112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Presenting The Single Worst Piece Of Sports Journalism From Super Bowl XLIV
The headline on ESPN.com is "Papa John's founder John Schnatter feeds me pizza." Then things get really stupid....

Lindsey Vonn's Buttocks Are The First Winter Olympics Controversy
Yes. There they are. Her hunched over, haunches on display. But Tasty Bakes says that the only real problem with the Vonn SI cover photo is that it's been done before. [TheAwl]...

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Bad Beats: It's Only Teenage Wasteland
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Middle Schoolers Begin The Brett Favre Smear Campaign
Last week, the Wall Street Journal published an item in a notes column, detailing the possible scapegoats for the Vikings loss. No mention of Favre. That's not good enough for Mr. Kloepping's social studies class....

Super Bowl Subplot #8: Hurricane Katrina
The media has kept it surprisingly low-key this week, but come Sunday there will be no avoiding the big dark shadow that looms over New Orleans and the rag tag group of football misfits holding that city together: Katrina....

Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....

The Always-Controversial Weather Channel Sees A Hurricane WhoDat Comin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

First Spoils Of Terry Court Victory: Premier League Manager's Whorehouse Visit
Remember how an English court said the tabloids weren't barred from reporting on John Terry's private life? That's what we call a precedent....

But Does It Have A Horrible Pun? You Brettcha!
Fans in Hattiesburg, Miss. (not Minnesota, mind you), have bought a billboard urging Favre to return to the Vikings. In the future, all human communication will take place via billboard. [Hattiesburg American, via RandBall]...

Michael Irvin Accused Of Rape
A woman has accused Irvin and an accomplice of raping her in a Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in 2007. The Broward County Attorney's office is expected to decide next week if criminal charges will be brought. [Miami Herald]...

Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...

One Tiger Fling Not Too Happy With Her Balls
Those "Tail of the Tiger" golf balls are in poor taste, sure, but do they advocate domestic violence? That's the stance of Tiger's porn star, and — of course — Gloria Allred....

More Vanilla Ice With My NBA, Please: A Canadian's Perspective
Last night, at the Raptors-Nets game, Vanilla Ice inexplicably appeared as the halftime entertainment. Resident Canadian high-end potato salesman, Gourmet Spud, was in attendance. He filed this report....

People Fainting On Live Television Will Never Cease To Amuse
Batista is a Brazilian soccer commentator who got a little woozy during a recent broadcast. Note the expression shortly before his eyes roll upward. It's the look of someone who knows he's about to be all over YouTube. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Super Bowl Subplot #7: Shhh! Commercials!
The only thing people love more than Super Bowl commercials is complaining about people who only care about the commercials. Or is it complaining about those complainers? I feel like we've had this conversation before....

Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

Adorable "Who Dat" Dog Barks Orders At Puny Human Saints Fans
Actually, the dog looks mostly scared and confused by all loud, insane people screaming at him, but still ... CUTE PUPPY! [YouTube, via Brooks]...