v Page 3114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Buddy Diliberto Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the dudes in dresses who came out to honor a former Saints broadcaster with a parade. Also known in New Orleans as "Sunday."...

Yup, Terry's Secret Lover's Abortion Is Pretty Much Biggest Story Since First Stamford Bridge
When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea....

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Listen Up, NBC: Here's An Idea To Boost Olympics Ratings
Most people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens simply as the first Olympiad. Some people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens as a shining beacon of nude recreation. Like? The American Association for Nude Recreation. Obviously....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

TCU, Lacking BCS Recognition, Tries A Little Branding
A TCU student is planning to sue everyone and everybody after being branded with his fraternity's letters. That student's name: Amon Carter IV. Hey, don't the Horned Frogs play in Amon G. Carter Stadium?...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...

OK, One Last Piece Of Brett Favre Schadenfreude
From the same Vikings radio team that brought you "This is not Detroit, man" comes this swaggering bit of audio, spoken just moments earlier: "Game's tied at 28. Fine. Because Brett Favre is the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings."...

Dear Haiti, Here Are Some Ugly Shirts
Premature, unused Vikings (and Jets) conference championship gear is on its way to Haiti. So the Brett Favre coverage continues, in Port-au-Prince at least. [RandBall]...

Bad Beats: Kiss The Girls
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....

Donovan McNabb Joins The Psychic Friends Network
McNabb says he knows he'll be back in Philly next year, because his psychic told him so. She also predicted playoffs but no Super Bowl ring, though you don't need to be psychic to know that. [Philly Daily News]...

Is Gilbert Arenas Crazy Like A Fox?
The odd thing about the announcement of Gilbert Arenas' season-ending suspension was the claim that he asked for it. Literally. Why would someone want to be suspended for a whole year? Obviously, he gets more money that way....

The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....

Super Bowl Subplot #3: A Pro Bowl Like No Other
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....