v Page 3130 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bill Self Has A Discerning Eye For Talent, Ass
Self, on former Kansas big man Darnell Jackson: "I recruited Darnell because I liked his smile and he had a nice butt, to be honest with you." [KUsports.com, h/t Ryan C.]...

Steve Nash: NBA Optometrist
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....

Mario, Luigi Wanted For Assault, Battery
Super Mario Kart is the greatest sports game of all time; if you disagree, you are a Communist. That's why I bring you warning that the game is much uglier when translated into real life....

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....

No One Likes Donald Sterling, Part 783 (UPDATE)
The league has no plans to discipline, comment on or even cough pointedly in the direction of Sterling, so activists are passing around a protest petition that David Stern can blithely ignore, too. Faaantastic!...

Playing Offensive Line Is Horrible. Jamboroo, Week 10
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Live Chat With Chris Ballard
Chris is in the comments below. Suggested topics for discussion: what Steve Kerr wrote on his shoes; LeBron's actual weight; Reggie Miller's portable massage tool; where to get a run in South Dakota; mushroom prospecting; that other basketball book....

Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...

Brooke Hundley Speaks About "Horrific" Steve Phillips Affair
Good Morning America scored the big "get" in the Steve Phillips saga by landing the first interview with "mistress" Brooke Hundley—an interview that wants to be sympathetic, but mostly focuses in on the pathetic....

No, Vancouver Is The Other Way!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Makers Of Madden Face Lawsuit For Eliminating The Competition
We get it; you love Madden. You buy it every year. But wouldn't it be awesome if there were another football game available? Join this class action suit against EA, and you might get one. Or at least some cash....

Become America's Healthiest Individual at Equinox Fitness Club
You walk by them all the time—the sleek, state-of-the-art gyms featuring buffed-out dudes doing their thing on the ellipticals. Join Equinox and stave off the winter fat you know is coming. Click here to redeem your 3-day pass!...

SEC Refs Are Afraid Of Technology. Like, 1990s Technology.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Better Learn To Recognize Michigan's AD, Honey
Since picking on Rich Rodriguez has become a little too easy lately, here's a new plotline for Michigan mockers to pursue....athletic director Bill Martin reduced to pulling the "Do you know who I am?" routine in his own stadium....

A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....

I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...

He'll Never Be Banned From The Gambling Hall of Fame
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....