v Page 3138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....

The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...

Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...

Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...

The Shiancoesaurus Made Another Subtle, Brief Appearance Monday Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot By Gun-Toting Husband
Tragic outcome to this story which made national news last year ago. Melanie Hain, a soccer mother who showed up at her daughter's soccer game packing heat, was shot to death by her husband in an apparent murder-suicide. [PennLive]...

George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Would-Be Thugs Pick On The Wrong Crossdressers (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
Next time you try to beat up a couple of women, make sure they're not men in drag. And also MMA fighters....

The Learning Curve: IvyGate Sports
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

MLB Postseason Preview: Predictions!
No one knows anything, but hell, like anyone will remember anyone's predictions anyway. Here are the official Emeritus predictions for the Major League Baseball playoffs, which start (woo-hoo!) today....

MLB Postseason Preview: St. Louis Cardinals
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The St. Louis Cardinals....

Twins Add One More Insult To Injury
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Wide Receiver Drama Over: Braylon Edwards Traded, Michael Crabtree Signs
Adam Schefter woke up early today and jumped on two stories that will disappoint fans of ridiculous melodrama. Now that the Braylon Edwards saga is over in Cleveland and Michael Crabtree has ended his holdout, what will we talk about?...

Nicaragua's About To Get Some New Tigers Gear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NFL Players' Softer Sides Are Just As Dumb
Disclosure: thanks to a friend in editorial, I'm often one of the anonymous guys in the "men tell you what they really want" articles at Cosmo. That's my excuse for knowing that this month's issue features some football players....

Even The Aflac Duck Has It Out For The Mets
Since we won't have them to kick around in October, let's dump this here. [Via]...

Lamar Odom's Biological Clock Must Be Ticking
We knew Lamar Odom was impetuous, but just how impetuous? Try proposing marriage to this woman (and getting rejected) just a week before hooking up with Khloe Kardashian....

The Learning Curve: Hockey World Blog
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

AL Central Tie-Breaker: Tigers vs. Twins
Well, I'm stuck here watching this game on a Tuesday afternoon (5:07? Really?) so I might as well describe it to you in pithy chronological outbursts. Nothing helps the sting of your team's season fading away like a live blog...