v Page 3144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Leodis McKelvin: "I Am Going To Do It Again"
Buffalo Bills fans learned how to deal with disappointment a long time ago, so today is just another Tuesday morning for them. When you've already lost 11 in a row to one team, No. 12 isn't such a big deal....

O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...

You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....

The Learning Curve: Quarterrack
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Dude, You're Making Out With A Dude
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....

Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Lives!
Next week brings the joyous return of Joe Buck's Cavalcade of Sporting Chit-Chat and Penis Whimsy, now with what promises to be a marked emphasis on the former over the latter, unless Joe Namath is off the wagon again....

Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...

The Anti-Favre Debate Is Nothing But A Straw Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Cris Collinsworth Is Sorry
Don't you hate it when someone digs up an embarrassing, decades-old video of you so the entire world can see what you were like when you were young and stupid? Cris Collinsworth sure does!...

Your NFL Open Thread
All your Brett Favre schadenfreude goes here. [NFL.com]...

UVA's Season Summed Up In Mascot Catastrophe
As if getting blown out at home by William & Mary wasn't a bad enough omen for UVA football, observe what happened before the Cavalier's second loss to TCU....

Men With Telestrators Can't Stop Drawing Dongs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sean Salisbury Gets Fired Hard for the Money
Yesterday we learned that Sean Salisbury was fired from his gig at a Dallas radio stadium, allegedly for more cellphone/dong photo hijinks. The Dallas Morning News spoke to Salisbury about his departure, and he tells a different story, naturally....

Cris Collinsworth Likes His Ladies Very Young and Extremely Stupid
Every now and then someone will dig up a long lost video clip from the past that's so amazing in every way that you have to watch it multiple times to confirm it's real. This is one of those videos....

What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....

Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...

I Hope Your Team Wins At Sports This Weekend!
Thank you for letting me play in your sandbox today. I have no idea what any of you are talking about! That being said, you dudes were great. I hope it's not awkward when we run into each other later!...

When Erin Met Oprah
The much-discussed Erin Andrews-Oprah Winfrey interview aired today and now that Oprah has done her Oprah thing the door is probably officially closed on this matter....

Also Never Forget...Sad Mike Piazza Dressed Like Fonzie On A Rooftop
"Perched mere blocks from the smoky ruins on Sunday, Sept. 16, 2001, a distraught Mike Piazza grieved for his adopted city." Christ. [SI]...