v Page 3174 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Jordan Loves Chicago Almost As Much As He Loves Nike
An animatronic Jordan doll donned a Blackhawks jersey at the United Center this weekend, to show his support for the "hometown" boys—but not before he had team officials sew a red patch over the Reebok logo. Nothing to see here, Mr. Knight! [Puck Daddy]...

One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...

This Guy Has Nothing On Clay Zavada
The world's most moustachioed flocked to Anchorage this weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championship. Unfortunately, the winners forever will have asterisks next to their busts in Alaska, as Clay Zavada was in Oakland, whisker-twinged NHL players are busy and Sarah Palin couldn't make it. ...

Hey, That's Not John Mayberry Sr.
John Mayberry Jr. hit his first career home run Saturday, and the Fox crew in Yankee Stadium quickly honed in on his father, former MLB player John Mayberry Sr. Only problem: It wasn't him. Ay, there's the rub. (Also, A-Rod homered and the Yankees won, spoiling the Mayberrys' day.) [Bats]...

There's No Crying With Amazing Happening
A Denver hooligan went out on a two-block strip to deface some innocent stop signs after the Nuggets lost Game 1 to the Lakers last Tuesday. It is not known whether this hooligan acted alone or whether he was part of a larger hooligan conspiracy. He is still at large....

...And Your NBA Open Thread
Andrew Bynum isn't happy with his playing time, but he's only going to talk with Phil Jackson about his "feelings" if he's approached. Let's give Bynum a break — he's still young, right? Lakers, Nuggets, 8:30 p.m. in Denver. [LA Times]...

Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...

Judge: No, You Can't Replace Volleyball With Cheerleaders
A federal judge has decreed that Quinnipiac can't just ax its women's volleyball team to trim the budget — especially when, you know, it wouldn't actually save money if the team is replaced by a new varsity cheerleading squad. Something about Title IX. Proceed with your day. [News-Times]...

Where Does PETA Get Off Humiliating Michael Vick?
DeAngelo Hall on Vick: "I mean, he's definitely been humiliated. I think he should have [gotten] suspended, then he should have had to pay a big fine. That's what PETA wants anyway, is money, so he should have had to pay them money." [D.C. Sports Bog]...

"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....

Inside Edition Shocked To Find Drunk People At Baseball Game
In Milwaukee, of all places! "Fights break out inside the stadium, foul language can be heard in the stands, and there are obscene gestures everywhere," reports America's Newsmagazine. [Inside Edition]...

Brett Favre Victimized By Improv Comedy Group
New York Giants lineman David Diehl makes his comedy club debut by mocking Brett Favre—and doing a pretty good job of it, actually. It was such a spot on impersonation that he even told his jokes to the wrong audience. Video below....

A Closer Look At Michael Strahan's <i>Brothers</i>
Any comedy show staring some who has played for the New York Giants in automatically funny, of course, but what exactly can you expect from Michael Strahan's new Fox sitcom? I've just seen the first trailer, so let's break it down, shall we?...

Obama's Two Favorite Things Are The Steelers, Making Children Cry
A group of kindergarteners had their hearts broken yesterday when they showed up for a White House tour and were told they couldn't come in because staff had to prepare for the President's visit with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, because the tears of the innocent give Barack Obama sustenance....

Jake Peavy Says "Thanks But No Thanks" To White Sox
Jake Peavy loves batting so much that he can't bear to leave the National League, so he decided to reject the trade that would have sent him to the Chicago White Sox. Also, he knows how to read a box score. [MLB]...