v Page 3219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe The Sprinklers Came On During The Match
Manchester United won't appeal the four-match ban against star Patrice Evra, levied for — get this — his fight with a groundskeeper. [Guardian.co.uk]...

Identifying The Pro Bowl Snubs Is More Entertaining Than The Pro Bowl Itself
As we mentioned yesterday, the Pro Bowl rosters are out; which means it's time for the annual Pro Bowl bitching to commence....

Stephon Marbury Just Can't Stop Smiling, Making Knicks Uncomfortable
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call...

Maybe He Should Change His Name To Phil Dawsome
When asked how it felt to eclipse the franchise record for most field goals in a season, Phil Dawson, kicker of the 4-10 Cleveland Browns, said: "There's an old saying back in Texas that says, 'You know that white speck on top of chicken poop? It's still chicken poop.' " [Philly.com](bottom graph)...

Beckham Happens To Have The Kind Of Body That Excites Both Persuasions
I must admit that half the fun of this job is in reading the British tabloid headlines. Today's winner: AC Star: I'll Peek In Beck's Kecks....

The Cruel Emasculation Of Josh Howard
Everybody remembers when Josh Howard brought some unwanted attention to the Mavericks for going rogue on Michael Irvin's radio show by extolling the virtues of weed and admitted smoking it during the off-season....

Mets To Be Rescued By The Power Of Booze And Mr. Celery?
Long Island Booze Baron Martin Silver is riding to the rescue to buy the New York Mets, whom he's sure are broke, so that they "don't fall into the wrong hands." Like, with someone who doesn't taunt people with poultry?...

Braylon Edwards May Have Worn Out His Welcome In Cleveland
Cleveland is awful and their offense hasn't scored in 16 quarters, but everyone just stay calm. You don't hear Braylon Edwards crying about it....

Area Girlfriend Is Seriously Cramping Penguin Fan's Style
Ok, fess up. Which one of you Penguin fans out there is the subject of this letter submitted to advice columnist Margo Howard?...

Robert Flores: The Tony Danza Of SportsCenter
ESPN afternoon SportsCenter anchor Robert Flores took some time to answer my moronic email questions. He's good like that....

My Other Car Is A Recliner
Browns fan ticketed for driving unregistered couch. [Breitbart.com]...

Buzzer-Beaters Of The Gods ... Plus, Post-Game Microphone Carnage
Who hasn't dreamed at one time or another of doing this? The long 3 to win it ... ohhhhh! They're going crazy at the Carrier Dome! (Your fantasy may or may not include topless cheerleaders)....

LA Times Writer Makes Big Smurfing Mistake
Los Angeles Times' Mark Heisler calls Mavericks' guard Jose Juan Barea a "Mexican Smurf" in his power rankings. Funny, except that Barea is Puerto Rican. [LAist]...

Tiger Is Not Amused
Tiger Woods responds to comments made by his caddie, Steve Williams, about Phil Mickelson. Someone's not getting their usual tip, methinks. [NBCSports]...

Lemme Know It's Christmas Time At All
Tonight the Philadelphia Eagles attempt to dismantle the hapless Cleveland Browns in front of a raucous crowd at Lincoln Financial Field. Stu Scott and Santa will be there to witness the carnage....

Let Your Hair Down On Rod Blagojevich Night
Las Vegas Wranglers minor league hockey team to host Rod Blagojevich night on Jan. 30, featuring prison-stripe uniforms and prime rinkside seat auctioned off to highest bidder. [ABC13-TV]...

The NFL Loogie Wars Have Begun
Steelers punter/holder Mitch Berger says that after Jeff Reed kicked the winning extra point in Sunday's 13-9 win over the Ravens, that cornerback Frank Walker spit in his mouth. Man, good shot....

The Greatest Game Ever Played
...Is not going to be at Detroit Tiger Curtis Granderson's second annual Celebrity Shoot-Out....

The FIGJAM commenteth
"After seeing Steve Williams' comments all I could think of was how lucky I am to have a class act like Bones (Mickelson's caddy Jim MacKay) on my bag and representing me." Mickelson's team also refuted the "nice tats" story, saying it was about a European Tour player (my guess: Colin Montgomerie), ...

Maybe Arizona Basketball Is Not A Complete Disaster
Remember that whole thing about Arizona's basketball program turning into a Shakespearean tragedy? It seems those reports may be been greatly exaggerated by someone. (Okay, it was me.)...